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Rhythm and Rhyme Workshop

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  • Saintdc Reward (12/7/2011 3:02:00 PM) Post reply

    Liquid diamond...damn it, sleep on my mind.....

  • Joe Garson (11/29/2011 2:08:00 PM) Post reply

    Hey Members...I would like you to read my poems and would appreciate any and
    all comments you may have...thanks...

    http: //

  • Buddy Bee Anthony (11/21/2011 9:20:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    This phrase went through my head and i wrote it down.
    Can you see the road map of life written on my face,
    or the tatoo's which spring hot from my insides?

    Replies for this message:
  • Gordon Tseng (11/10/2011 12:46:00 AM) Post reply


    I love monorhyming quatrain from my point of view.
    They call it Shairi Quatrain whose form is never new.
    Trying to create some variations for poetic life lovers like you,
    I hope someday their writers and readers will not be only a few.

  • Anele The_african_son Potelwa (umbhali_wasembo) (11/5/2011 6:58:00 AM) Post reply

  • Ralph The Elf (10/22/2011 4:54:00 PM) Post reply

    Tears filled her eyes as she spake

    overcome with the gruesome memories

    goosebumps did her words awake

    the tales made our guts go wobbly

    whether myth or tale

    we did not bother to query

    because lie as she may

    those were the stories of our grandma Maggie

  • Samantha De Vera (10/20/2011 12:43:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Just wanted to share a poem to see what people thought :)

    'The Raven'

    A shadow looms overhead, blanketing the ground
    people look up in terror, running around
    Fearing what they don't know, they fight
    Piercing arrows through the heart, midflight
    The beast falls to the hard earth
    Remembering all of her mother's warnings at birth
    She lies there motionless, tears on her cheeks
    Waiting, trying to find the peace she seeks
    But no light she finds in the night
    So she lies there, cold, until the morning light

    Replies for this message:
    • Jack Williams (11/17/2011 4:50:00 AM) Post reply | Read 2 replies

      It seems to me (and i could well be wrong) that you are trying to force the rhyme aspecet of the poem too much. Obviously it's not a bad thing for a poem to rhyme but i think due to fitting in a non- ... more

  • isunge Mwangase (10/11/2011 2:08:00 AM) Post reply

    Hey guys, would love you to dropp me an honest comment on my poetry and i'll do the same for you.

    http: // here is something I wrote yesterday called 'My Heart Crashed With The
    Loudest Din'

    My heart crashed with the
    loudest din,
    Loving you is the greatest sin,
    Because the wages of it is my
    You made my soul leave the
    Only now I see the stage clear,
    Your heart has always been its
    I crack with such a pain,
    Like a land that has never
    had rain,
    But I will go without a fight
    For your happiness is my

  • Mark Trajano (9/1/2011 12:45:00 AM) Post reply

    Hi guys!

    please comment on how I can improve my future works and you can find my previous works here:

    Best Regards and take care everyone!
    : D

  • Jacob Ellinger (7/31/2011 11:48:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    this is a song/poem I wrote, I would like comments on improvement, ideas on how to make this a song, changes in lyric suggestions.

    I'm bad, I'm a develishy slimy man,
    with wicked and vile intentions,
    and a infernal and hellish plan.

    Corruptive and pervasive, and all together sick,
    unholy and despicable with ugly hellish wit.

    A genius in sheep's clothing, a devil in disguise,
    my words are sweet as honey but I'm planning your demise.

    You'll never see it coming, in your mind I'm your best friend,
    Like adding sugar to a meal, it'll taste sweeter in the end.

    I'll see your face in shock,
    that I would have stabbed you so,
    I'll grin a evil grin and stare into your soul.

    you'll finally breath your last breath,
    it will fill me with such joy; to know that you never knew
    that you where simply just my toy.

    Replies for this message:
    • Darlington Chukwunyere (9/5/2011 7:57:00 PM) Post reply

      break it into double line pausing, then you can sing it with trimmed vocal calls... With suitable lyre chords.

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