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Poetics and Poetry Discussion


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  • James Timothy Jarrett Rookie - 1st Stage (5/19/2014 11:36:00 AM) Post reply

    JC, Thank you for the honest critique the other day.

  • Jefferson Carter Rookie - 1st Stage (5/19/2014 11:26:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Brioney, this is more teenage angst (whether yer a teenie or not) , larded with abstractions, trying to tell without showing or involving the reader. Stop writing; start READING, lots and lots of good contemporary and modern poets. Poetry is an art form, not mere self-expression. You have much to learn, so start learning. I'll send you a list of poets that could inspire you and—more importantly- guide you.

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  • Brioney Leon Rookie - 1st Stage (5/19/2014 1:51:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT AND/OR CRITIQUE THIS POEM :)

    Recital

    I have shown you everything
    But still you cannot see me
    You think I’m blinded
    with infatuation
    But my eyes sting with tears
    because I see the beauty
    of who you are

    I have sung your praises
    But still you will not listen
    You think I’m out of time and
    singing someone else’s song
    but only the music of your voice
    can make me dance

    I have given you my faith
    But still you do not trust it
    You think I’m lying to myself
    Trying to make a fantasy real
    but the truth is that I have
    always believed in you

    I have filled you with desire
    But still you must deny it
    You think I’m full with lust and
    greedy for something in return
    but the perfect suffering of
    wanting you is enough

    I have loved you so
    But still you fear to love me
    You think I’ll be afraid to stay
    abandon and forget you in time
    but my love for you is destined
    and eternal

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    • Tweetspeak Poetry Rookie - 1st Stage (5/19/2014 7:43:00 AM) Post reply

      Brioney, how long have you been writing poetry?Such a wonderful way to express thoughts and hone our writing skills. And so much to learn over time :) The best part of this poem is the catalog tec ... more

  • Jefferson Carter Rookie - 1st Stage (5/18/2014 10:01:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Jefferson to Lamont below:

    Drip, drip, drip, , Lamont. Yer like that Chinese water torture, drip, drip, drip, drip.... " Any poetry before 1980 will be much stronger than contemporary work" ...drip, drip, drip....
    I added modern poetry because Larkin, Lowell, Williams, Bishop, etc. are all wonderful poets any beginning poet should know well. Stevens is probably too intellectually difficult and a poor influence on aspiring poets (as evident in much of your work) though I love Stevens. Keep on dripping, Lamont. My tastes are much more catholic than yours (and I don't mean Roman) will ever be.

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  • Jefferson Carter Rookie - 1st Stage (5/18/2014 9:59:00 PM) Post reply

    Jefferson Carter to Ben:


    After reading a few of your poems, I'd suggest you start reading lots of good contemporary and modern poets. They'd inspire you but more important would guide you away from the personal angst of your current work into an appreciation of poetry as an art form, not merely self-expression. I'll suggest a list if you'd like. JC



    Lamont Palmer to Jefferson:

    I see you've followed my lead with adding the term 'modern poetry' to your advice, when you only used to say read 'good contemporary poetry'. But I suggest young poets read modern poetry, because so much contemporary poetry is terrible. Anything modern before 1980 will be much stronger work, generally.

  • Jefferson Carter Rookie - 1st Stage (5/18/2014 9:42:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Adam, yer right, but I won't be sarcastic. Right up front, I'll say it's a pretty awful poem. The first two stanzas sound like bad Christian rock (I know, I know, bad Christian rock is a redundancy) , but that third stanza veers off into Adam Snow-land, syntax so tortured even the Roman soldiers might have blanched at it: " His blood He save. /By his blood our sins He lave, /the price His life in which he gave." As far as diction goes (" lave" ?) , as far as sense goes (" blood He save" ?Save whom?Save what?) , as far as correct usage goes (" life in which He gave" ?) , as far as any metrical sense goes, this stanza is wretched even by Adam's lax standards. In fact, I dare Lamont, Adam's apologist and lickspittle, to find something, anything in the poem that's worthwhile beyond the dubious comfort the hoary myth supposedly offers. Adam, now, more than ever, stop writing and READ some good modern and contemporary poets! Puhleeze, if not out of pity for your readers then out of concern for your own immortal soul! !

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    • Frank Ovid Rookie - 1st Stage (5/18/2014 10:43:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      This is right up there with The Gettysburg Address. I'd put number 11 on my Greatest Speeches of All Time.

  • Adam M. Snow Rookie - 1st Stage (5/18/2014 6:34:00 PM) Post reply | Read 2 replies

    What do you think of this poem I wrote today?Knowing Carter, he's gonna give a lovely comment, sarcastically speaking of course.

    Upon this Tree
    Written by Adam M. Snow

    Look upon this tree,
    a Man hung for us to see.
    The blood which stains this tree,
    is the reason we are free.

    The scars and lashes upon his back,
    all for us, He did not slack.
    A precious life He gave to us,
    surrendering all without a fuss.

    Out of love His life He gave;
    this lost lamb, His blood He save.
    By His blood our sins He lave,
    the price His life in which He gave.

    Death has claimed Him, but claimed Him no more;
    upon that tree our sins He bore.
    Conquering Hell a battle won,
    victory is He, God's only Son.

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    • Peter Stavropoulos Rookie - 1st Stage (5/18/2014 9:13:00 PM) Post reply

      Hi Adam, I wouldn't dismiss Jefferson's suggestions without due consideration. It's obvious to me, at least, that he makes them because he cares about you and the art form. You expressed a wish once t ... more

    • Frank Ovid Rookie - 1st Stage (5/18/2014 9:00:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      You never know.

  • Ben Matthews Rookie - 1st Stage (5/18/2014 5:11:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Hello all I'm looking for a way to get my poetry shown to people without posting on Facebook or Twitter because a lot of it is personnel between me and someoneand I don't want to eexploit her out in the open like that so I'm looking for suggestions

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    • Jefferson Carter Rookie - 1st Stage (5/18/2014 4:43:00 PM) Post reply | Read 2 replies

      After reading a few of your poems, I'd suggest you start reading lots of good contemporary and modern poets. They'd inspire you but more important would guide you away from the personal angst of your ... more

  • Dan Reynolds Rookie - 1st Stage (5/17/2014 6:34:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Frank (Ovid) ....you say you've been reading more of Sherrie's poetry?Where are you finding these poems, as she is not exactly prolific on PH?

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  • Jefferson Carter Rookie - 1st Stage (5/17/2014 3:17:00 PM) Post reply

    Here's a nice surprise! Lamont being gracious about my new interview on youtube.! He even seems to admit that if read correctly, a plain style poem may express an intended music. Also, as Lamont notes, that's me, Mr. Gentle! Thanks, Lamont.

    I invited him like this: " Lamont, did you check out my interview on youtube?You might....get a better sense of the person you've been arguing with for 10 years! Google youtube, then search Jefferson Carter poet."




    Lamont Palmer replied:

    " Enjoyed it JC. While your poems sound just as prosey when you 'recite' them, I think liked them more, hearing them outloud. That clip sort of reminds me of C-Span's 'BookTV' when author's read snippets from their memoirs. Also your surprisingly gentle voice helps to take the sting out of your forum posts. Nice little interview." -LP

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