Poetics and Poetry Discussion


Post a message
  • Mike Acker (3/19/2014 6:58:00 PM) Post reply | Read 3 replies

    Re-posting, as it seems like this town has itself a new sheriff, welcome Sheriff Simple Blue Bird.

    Sunset

    The man in the blue shirt, the yellow
    pants and black shoes, the one who
    carries his heart in his left hand,

    crossed the steel bridge at sunset.
    He could barely see his shadow.
    Once he was on the other side,

    he did what he does every day,
    at this time. He walked up the hill
    just past the rusting bridge and

    at the very top, overlooking
    a sea of red poppies,
    he began to dig.
    Mike Acker

    Replies for this message:
    • Sherrie Kolb Cassel (3/22/2014 12:45:00 PM) Post reply

      Nice one...I think it could still use some tightening up, but overall, not bad.

    • Frank Ovid (3/19/2014 8:40:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      I like this. 'What's he digging'???Doesn't read like a poem, but the ideas are interesting. I'd love to do a movie script or TV pilot based on some of these ideas. Maybe a short story.

    • Mike Acker (3/19/2014 8:00:00 PM) Post reply

      I meant it in the best way. Something has changed here, and I was trying to give you the credit. I can understand that you may think I was being sarcastic, but I was not!

  • Jefferson Carter (3/19/2014 1:31:00 PM) Post reply | Read 2 replies

    Arabella Picken (below) asked for some comments on her poems. Here are mine. Am I being mean?Nastily discouraging?I don't know any more.

    Arabella, you need to understand poetry is an art form, not just an opportunity to express your personal feelings. Your poems I've read are neither sophisticated or competent enough to praise (yet?) . If you're interested in becoming a better POET, you need to start reading lots of good contemporary poet. I know you've been encouraged to express your unique inner self without outside influence, but if you care about writing better poetry, I can give you the names of some fine poets whose work would inspire and guide you. That is, if your goal is more than " self-expression."

    Replies for this message:
    • Frank Ovid (3/19/2014 6:04:00 PM) Post reply

      I don't think it was a bad critique at all. I might have stuck it to her even worse than you did. Depends on my mood that day. Sometimes when I'm not rhyming well I get into a funk and I want to rip s ... more

    • -. - . _. (3/19/2014 3:09:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      honest 1. free of deceit; truthful and sincere.

  • Jefferson Carter (3/19/2014 1:22:00 PM) Post reply

    I was a little worried when I submitted " the Falling Man" (below) to " Kentucky Review" because it had been already rejected by " American Poetry Review" and the " New Yorker, " two journals I've wanted to appear in forever, and " KR" is a brand new, not yet especially reputable online journal. I usually don't submit to online mags anyway because they seem so ephemeral and transitory. " KR" publishes a printed issue at the end of the year, and that helped me get over my initial indecision. The mag did do a fine job printing my photo and poem, I'm more than satiisfied with the result.

  • Dan Reynolds (3/19/2014 11:24:00 AM) Post reply

    OK, as a challenge, let's all go to the front page, pick at least one poem and comment on it. (On the poem, not here. I remember where that took us last time...sheesh) .

  • Dan Reynolds (3/19/2014 8:21:00 AM) Post reply

    Dear PH forum contributors...
    when was the last time you offered some genuine advice on a poem, either on this site or elsewhere?

  • Jefferson Carter (3/18/2014 8:00:00 PM) Post reply | Read 3 replies

    I just had a poem published in " Kentucky Review." Here's the link: http://kentuckyreview.org/poetry/2014.aspx

    Replies for this message:
  • Dan Reynolds (3/18/2014 7:01:00 PM) Post reply

    Well, after a quick scan.... I still advocate ignoring as a viable option.

  • Mike Acker (3/18/2014 4:52:00 PM) Post reply | Read 3 replies

    Mesmerized

    I took a poem once, that I loved,
    and after peeling off its backing,
    placed it in a clear flask, carefully.

    I poured a mild acid onto this verse when,
    gradually, some stanzas began to detach and
    in spite of a strong bond, separated

    from one another. I added more of the caustic
    liquid, and as I shook the container, I could
    see lines beginning to flow away from their stanzas,

    hesitantly. More, stirring broke some words
    off their lines, and here and there letters
    began to float to the surface.

    Eventually, the majority of the letters had become
    loose and were rising to the top, forming a thick soup
    of letters and punctuation marks.

    Just as the last of the letters were ascending, a gel-like
    substance, minute and barely visible, began to take
    shape close to the bottom.

    It was scintillating and translucent, colorful and vibrant
    as if alive. It would change shape as I looked from different
    angles, until, suddenly, I was completely and utterly mesmerized.
    Mike Acker

    She loved this one too!

    Replies for this message:
    • Mike Acker (3/19/2014 6:28:00 PM) Post reply

      That's fair, thank you.

    • Mike Acker (3/19/2014 1:33:00 PM) Post reply

      Critique, of course. If I wanted praise, this would the last place I'd post. There is a difference between a genuine, well-meaning critique, and mean-spirited, disparaging commentary.

    • Atheanga Tiomaint (3/18/2014 7:16:00 PM) Post reply

      Very unique way of analyzing a poem. I never thought of putting poetry through an " acid" test! Very clever. I like this very much.

  • Mike Acker (3/18/2014 1:08:00 PM) Post reply | Read 3 replies

    The comments below were hand made by a critic whose name I do not wish to disclose. She has a Master Degree(with honors) in English Literature and Creative Writing from U.B.C. in Vancouver. Graduated in mid-nineties. Very neutral. Felt this poem is definitely publishable. Just to show that I don't lie.

    You should thank me. If it becomes famous one day, so will you!

    Lamont Palmer and his Fellow Mediocrities

    Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.
    The recurring theme of the 'plasti' poets.
    Thousands sitting in ill-fitting poetry sites,
    and vacuum-laden forums making
    hydrogenated-fatty comments broadcast
    through a dispassionate, torpid ether,
    or stuffed into serpentine fiber-optic cables
    emitting lard laden signals that slow down
    and clog ever-bored photons grudgingly carrying
    this vacuous data to burned out screens just
    to display sent, read, unread, dead messages.

    Nothing really works, but the virile springs
    of keyboard letters, livelier than the words
    they form so well, morphing into flat,
    fat final locutions that reek of nothing, nothing, nothing.
    Empty shells of language used as currency
    to buy and sell the wasted moments of mediocrities.
    Self-congratulatory writing, good/bad writes,
    don't give up; the silent scream of
    the failed poets who, like the wingless birds
    flutter aimlessly on the ground unable
    to fathom what has happened.

    Jump, jump is all they can do now,
    the closest thing to ascension,
    but that is OK, no one really cares.
    With the droppings from soaring giants
    on their heads, some feel empowered
    to keep going, the stink of guano
    is their accolade from these gods,
    high above. How could they see,
    how can they know, in this mass of chaos,
    confusion and conformity. Who gives a damn, [=============
    a letter here, a word there; one massive[============= fantastic imagery!
    self-obsessed mind talking to itself, incessantly.[===============
    Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

    I love this poem!

    failed poets
    I believe there is
    no such thing
    the critic=dead
    the critic is a parasite
    also, poet Gods are accidental
    talented, yes-maybe

    Replies for this message:
    • Atheanga Tiomaint (3/18/2014 5:26:00 PM) Post reply

      I like it. It speaks not only to poets but any forums in which often time is wasted on banalities. Similar to the coffee shop days, except we used to meet in person and talk about our real lives in ... more

    • Frank Ovid (3/18/2014 3:05:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      I kind of like it, but 'the nubs' freak me out a little. I mean, what the heck is a nub?Is that like a person who lost a limb or something?I'm serious here, I get some nasty images when I think of the ... more

    • Lamont Palmer (3/18/2014 2:30:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      Mike, I'm here to tell you, you are a bloody liar. Seriously, no critic or poet worth his salt would like this poem, let alone publish it. Its overwritten, wooden, churlish and unmusicked, a thoroughl ... more

  • Stan Grossman (3/18/2014 11:28:00 AM) Post reply

    Does anyone know a Poppy Scarlett?She keeps looking for Acker. Wants to catch up with him. Has something to tell him. That's all I know.

[Hata Bildir]