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Lamont Palmer Male, 53, United States (5/15/2013 9:03:00 PM)

The Arrangement

Perhaps my emptiness is greater than your own.
To test these levels is a testy thing;
Bruises from wayward love scraped against
My aching face, and yes, there are stages to it:
Always grief and its sister emotion, ‘want’,
Which takes the belly-fire to new rooms
Of strange beds, moody dressers, mirrors
Unattended by masters of the given house.
Lust truncated; it is a wild dove kissing
The masses, as they stare bemused into
Unknown faces and unknown territories.
What can I give but wholeness: my own heat,
Like doing sixty-nine till the moon sighs and sleeps.

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  • Rookie - 324 Points Alice Vedral Rivera (5/21/2013 11:28:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply
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    I really enjoyed this poem Lamont.

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  • Freshman - 2,021 Points Bull Hawking (5/18/2013 12:58:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Lamont....I think I see...The Metamorphosis....in here.....am I right? Maybe that was understood by all just not stated by the others. Words like stages sister all that furniture....not too sure anout the lust truncated ect and the last line threw me also.....all in all very ok. Thanks!

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  • Rookie - 9 Points Mary Morstan (5/18/2013 4:51:00 AM) Post reply

    I like the first two lines but what comes after reads, for this reader, as over-crafted, seems overly determined to fit words and images into this form. And the last line doesn't work - if you want to use it you need to use similar language earlier in the poem.

  • Rookie S. A. S. (5/17/2013 11:57:00 PM) Post reply

    I don't know that I like the title for this. Like many of your poems, I like the framework and especially like some lines- " Perhaps my emptiness is greater than your own" and " What can I give but wholeness, " for example. The lines I generally like best are the most direct, uncluttered by adjectives.

  • Rookie John Kay (5/17/2013 11:00:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply


    Some very nice lines and images, but I think we're still standing on different mountains. It seems as though PH is beginning to rumble a little, as if it might go off again.


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    • Rookie Lamont Palmer (5/18/2013 7:33:00 PM) Post reply

      John, I've learned to appreciate those other mountains, though I may not be interested in climbing them. -LP

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