Poetics and Poetry Discussion
(4/17/2014 4:13:00 PM)
Thank you, JC and you are right.
Here is a revision....
When baby strollers were instant
coffins, and body parts were stepped
upon. When human gray matter
hung on walls like wet cotton balls.
They continued with what they do.
Those who ate ate.
Those who slept slept.
Those who watched watched.
When their children were skinned, and their
parents lost their heads, then their minds.
When rape and rapine became so
commonplace that no one dared come....
.......to give solace
They, they couldn't stop what they did.
Those who laughed laughed.
Those who looked looked.
Those who thought forgot.
Am I my brother's keeper?
(4/17/2014 3:40:00 PM)
This is one of Mike's best. My one complaint is that first stanza seems over-written, trying to disturb but somehow mundane, the language not expressive enough to shock. I like the gnomic qualities of the 2nd and 4th stanzas. He's improving! !