Critiques and Revision

love is a trinket
a bobble head that sits on your dash
and smiles at you in traffic
a charm on a chain that is more heavy
then the metal its made of
it is inexorably mundane
an item lost in the cracks of minutia
the clutter of oblivion
it is the useless totem that you lose and forget
and when it finds you
you can remember who gave it to you
or what it ever did for you in the first place
and so you surrender it to the grasp of the abyss
and affection turns to apathy
and the bobble head and the charm
are left to bear it all
and conjecture there own existence

Silent Soul



I am a poet
silently hidden in life's closet
with half-measured expressions
seeking to be made whole
secret imagination longing
to be bold
I am the wind
that echoes in your head
I am your reason
your silent unknown

copyright(c) 2012

Hiya, I am sure you all will visit my page and please leave a comment and help me in writing my poems accurately. Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment. For sure you can rate the poem - honest feedback is appreciated :) cheers

hey guys hoping to get some honest opinions on my poems will be sure to read and comment on your poems in return xx

I need some critisism on some of my poems,
nunn of none
Rage monster
The bottle of no pain

I would feel better with some critism. Please help. Thanks! :)

Hello all,
I wish to improve my poems more... It has been while but please commenting with your precious advice...
Thank You....
Awaiting

Hello all,
I have been in poem hunter for quite some time and now after some success here in poem hunter, I wish for all those critiques to have a read and comment for I wish to know what each of you think. Thank you and have a great day.

Aditya

Hello fellow poet, I humbly invite you to read my poems and leave a comment about them, would love more criticism dan praise.... And don't forget to vote... Thanks

To any and all who view this

I'm new to Poemhunter and new to the concept of sharing my poetry at all.
I would appreciate it if you viewed my poem " Teetering on the Edge" , or any of my other poems for that matter, if you could leave constructive criticism that would be
Fantastic.

So thanks in advance

Hey guys, I just posted a poem called, " If You May..." I would love to hear some opinions, either bad or good, I just want to improve. Thanks.