Critiques and Revision
(3/27/2014 3:11:00 PM)
A short notes about a poem for revision is needed, so poets take note.
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(3/26/2014 3:27:00 PM)
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I've never been in love, all arrows have failed to land
so there's probably alot about it, I don't quite understand
hence, I've compiled this questionnaire
anent all the hopeless romantics out there:
how is it, one can become so enamored
within the stretch of a month or so?
and when such ephemeral flings do end
snapping as would a flimsy rubber band
some are beside themselves with grief?
how and why is it, that love birds forsake the flock?
momma & pop, lifelong friends, all but abandoned at the dock
yet wholeheartedly sailing off with the, 'new kid on the block'
am I unkind, to think such shipment is but a load of crock?
why is it, that base, sappy cliches
become the things you find yourself athirst to hear?
such timeworn prattles, that to an outsider like myself
are oft discerned as cheap, penny a pop, poppycock!
mayhaps, someday I'll add whirr to the swarming love poem sea
and declare, 'alas, they got me! '
but currently, I only blind folk see
(3/21/2014 8:46:00 AM)
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Seeking inner peace
In the dregs of insanity
But these dregs shadow calamity
That envelopes in its folds of false security
False security?only then mere mortals fade away
Where vacuum take hold and sanity is lost
And the search for sanity seems futile
Dotted with vile undulationsReplies for this message:
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(3/18/2014 5:33:00 PM)
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Newly Old Clothes
My favourite stripes and
Those jeans that I wish I'd
Never bought that mock me
With their tensile seams
Of dingy disinfectant yellow.
They're churning, wrenching, twisting
Pretzals that I grab with both fists
Press them to carnivorous teeth
That quiver underneath
a Buffalo charge.
Split hooves, splitting headache
Four inches above teeth where
My third eye should be.
(3/18/2014 5:32:00 PM)
Systematically I scratched at a
Stubborn residue, insignificant but
But I wasn't really scratching
Away at that sticky fleck of molecular matter
I was watching the
Malleable plasticine faces on
The insides of my eyelids.
And listening to the nauseatingly
Muffled intonations from
The insides of my walls
Wishing I could sink my
Fingers into my own
Obstinately unmoving features.
Or tickle the string of my
Vocal chords into submission.
Until my own muffles were coersed
Brought up from a
Stinging acidic pool.
Accumulated from carbonated water
And dissolved sweetener.
I feel the fabric around me
Become tepid and callous
Its no longer healing
It is finite polyester
(3/18/2014 5:31:00 PM)
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A congealed epidermis.
My repugnant antagonist.
Two hundred milliliters at
Ten forty five.
Two hundred milliliters at
Just in case the emetic scent
Had evaded my nostrils.
Or the diaphonous film
Was no longer clinging to
My tonsils generating
I have the self sufficiency of
An overflowing bin
Begging to be relieved of
The soiled nappies and the
Mildew food packages that
Fill its cavity.
Every day I put it in the microwave
For an extra minute
Hoping that the boiling temperature
Will incinerate the impurity
That lies dorment but like mould
On my much too long tongue.
It leers at me.
Lecherous and toadying villain.
So I stir it with a spoon
That sweats with condensation
(3/18/2014 6:05:00 AM)
You are my life, my soul, and my heart.
Without you I have no reason to carry on.
With you I can help those around me live.
I am your armor.
You are my sword.
Without you I am weak.
With you I am invincible.
As I grow in life you grow with me.
When I'm drowning in the darkness; you are my light,
As you dwindle in the face of others,
I stand for you.
I shall never fall with you there,
Others will fall into darkness.
I must become you to save them.
I must be their armor and their sword.
I shall guide them to the light.
Forever and always until we fade.
(3/18/2014 5:20:00 AM)
FILLING THE PAGES
" As King David prided himself before the Holy Ark, " I learned from everyone that taught me anything" , and as our Sages tell us, " He that is wise, learns from everyone, " (Pele Yoetz, Scorn,2)
Life glides across like a pen,
whose nib fills with ink each day
gathers experience along the way
on blank paper, records events.
A bump and grind, a derriere
faces me, as if a smile,
no matter, rather that revile
than some hard, cold bitter stare,
one more lesson, out on a road
than soft rich earth smooths the path,
feels good, like swimming on a swath
of straight and narrow, easily trod
gathering everything that we know,
details of existence, compile the, take
each part, a chain of memories, breaks
in pieces, passing through, bestow
patience and kindness, what we see
pleasant otherwise, listen and learn,
no matter where, not time to spurn
what we traverse, wherever we be.
(3/15/2014 7:10:00 AM)
Today, was unlike any of the others,
Steps knew no bounds,
Tunes intuitively sound,
High horseman stepped down,
For fate introduced two singles, too lovers
My First, a son, my child’s Mother,
First birthday, cheap clown
First stumble, first frown
First “Burger King” crown
A love which I smother
Unexpected, having not sought her
In bound, on bored, first ride into town,
Frustrations definitions, now found
“Happy Meals” now, cheap toys with no crowns,
My life with a daughter
Rhodes a little dustier now,
Rebellious and loud,
Opinions, ignorance, pot clouds,
What have I allowed?
What did I do wrong?
Yet now a dustier road,
Pests out of the house,
Champagne and cheese for the house mannered mouse
Frequent, less frequent
Less phone calls home,
To this mouse friendly abode,
I miss the chaos, I miss the wrestles I miss being “dad”
They have left,
I want them home.
Soon heeding the Piper, soon heed to fate
Looking back at the bruises, the tears, those first frowns
Surprised by two miracles, first life, unbound, now bound
Hospice, now, sleep soon eternally sound,
Two of my kin in which I am proud
Those leading years in the clouds led up until now,
Two gifts of life, both spoken aloud
Next stop the king, the one with the real “kings” crown
Life was perfect in the ups, and remained up in the downs,
Elated with peace, a soul heavenly found
(3/15/2014 2:11:00 AM)
Hearts of the unbroken
Just know that I care,
That’s all that should matter,
It’s that love that we’ve shared,
So let us reflect on the latter.
Timid hides behind expression,
The feelings I have for her,
It’s having been without you,
That’s made me the sadder,
Breaches in trust,
Love sunk emotion,
For ours was no lust,
Fathoms measured by oceans,
It’s our love that we’ve shared,
In which holds meaningful devotion,
We stayed true to fates giving,
Now left alone, set apart,
No choice but to keep living,
For we carry oceans measured by fathoms, in heart,
Seeing sights fortune, that which bestows us,
So in walking trust
We so stage for fates molding.
Held with the knowing
That what we see as showing
Together Life shares as one,
Although parted, left unfolding,
The weight on guilt, shamefully with holding,
Despite feeling like tons
It’s less than others loathing
Reflections of our past, over takes me,
And even the Angry,
Memories we both have had.
It’s the truth of life and what it’s sold me,
It’s what’s been had, I will hold closest, you see?
For I will always keep faith in obtainment,
Not just for I but also for thee
Never lonely, when together, you see?
Too me it is “an obviously”
Despite miles in measure, that of which keeping “distance”,
Feelings light as a feather,
It’s how we insist this,
For there is not another,
Nor the other,
That can break our loves tether
Still one together,
So, let us look at perceptions,
Self introspective sight,
Both of us alike,
What’s keeping the pain?
Remember the strife?
Strength is what we’ll find that keeps “us” alive,
Let’s work on “us”,
Individual certainty will keep us at strive,
Giving us “life”
One less of “demise”,
With joyful tears and welling eyes,
Life’s offerings of rendition,
Loves song to the skies