Learn More

Critiques and Revision


Post a message
  • Rookie Wahed Abdl (9/25/2013 7:26:00 AM) Post reply
    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.

    Justice

    Atlast
    Eventually
    After all
    The deafening silence shattered
    Justice opened eyes
    Seems to be watching
    Rocks didn’t melt
    Sky didn’t fall
    The punishment, whether capital or life
    She is no more to know
    The questions in her eyes
    Freezed in the air
    Haunting every soul
    Why
    Dreams flooded in tears
    Blood pooled between dancing legs
    Smiles cried on tender lips
    Why
    The birth place of humanity
    That breathes life in the world
    Bled intestines
    Why
    Breast feeds
    Oogling orgy to spread its weed
    When
    Time starts thinking to stop its wheel
    What
    Shines at the peak of the death to rest in peace
    How
    Heads held high to stare own fall
    (All the accused in Delhi gang rape found guilty

  • Rookie John Estipona (9/21/2013 12:59:00 PM) Post reply

    Remembering the Days of My Life (English)

    I love the present as I cherished the past!
    While I let go of the Past, I move on to the Present
    And work to the betterment of the Future...

    For I know all things are made perfect,
    through the past to the present,
    leaving all the rest to Jesus to be the Lord of my Future!


    Pag Gunita sa aking Buhay sa Mundo (Filipino-Tagalog)

    Mahal ko ang kasalukuyan kasabay sa pag gunita ng aking nakaraan!
    Sa pag palaya ko ng aking nakaraan, ako'y tumuloy sa kasalukuyan
    Para buohin ang aking hinaharap…

    Datapwat ako’y naniniwala, lahat ng bagay ay may sadyang kabuohan,
    Simula sa nakaraan tungo sa hanganan ng kasalukuyan,
    Ipinaubaya ko kay Jesus na siyang aking panginoon ang aking hinaharap!


    ?????????? (???? - Chinese)

    ??????,????????
    ??????,??????
    ????????????...

    ?????????????????,
    ?????????,
    ???????????,??????!

  • Rookie John Estipona (9/21/2013 12:24:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    As man does not live by bread alone,
    feelings does not dictates faith....,

    I am a sinner too,
    I cannot be made holy but
    it is God’s mercy that I seek....

    What I feel will not change the fact
    that Jesus had paid the price for mankind,
    through faith and not feeling,
    I confess to him all my sin and accepted this fact.

    There is no better way to keep me busy
    than to meditate and walk the word,
    No better vitamins and rest
    than taking the word of God to heart everyday.

    Replies for this message:

    To read all of 1 replies click here
  • Rookie John Estipona (9/21/2013 12:20:00 PM) Post reply

    God’s Designed for Me
    Excerpt by Kai Lim

    At the dawn of my life, I shall look to the advent of the light.
    Blissfully ignorant, a happy creature of nature with neither dreams nor cares. I exist and I am glad.

    In the morning of my life, I shall look up to the sky, bath my face in sunshine, and bask in the glory of God’s smile. I see only the ever-expanding horizon, hear the siren call of foreign tongues, and feel the tug of strange and wondrous lands.

    In the noontime of my life, I shall look askance at the shadows newly gather at my feet. They mirror to my motions and mock my stance. They are a contrast of my corporeal wants and my ethereal needs.

    In the twilight of my life, I shall look to the dusk and I shall gather within me, my memories of loves, of kindness, and of travels. Though the shadows lengthen and the darkness deepens, still I shall fear no evil.

    In the evening of my life when the light has faded, I shall open my eyes and shine out like a beacon. For within me is the memory of light, of love, and of the goodness of the Lord. And I shall have no fear of the silence and of the darkness to come.

  • Rookie Aria Siren (9/17/2013 3:59:00 PM) Post reply

    'Ello Fellow Poets,
    Please do read my poem: Dancing With An Elephant and vote for it for the poetry contest hosted by Poem Hunter. Thanks so much. Email me yours and I'll be happy to return the favour.
    http://poemhunter.com/contest-vote/dancing-with-an-elephant-sonnet-ii/

    ~Aria

  • Rookie Kristina Dee (9/17/2013 5:34:00 AM) Post reply

    Discreetly Bold

    A surprise in familiarity
    from this soothing command,
    in the realm of eccentricities
    beauty chase liberty,
    provoke not paranoia
    of expensive insanity,
    escape fear undoubtedly
    abandoning relief of normality.

  • Rookie - 21 Points Sunday Champion (9/15/2013 5:51:00 PM) Post reply

    I SEE A PICTURE


    I see a picture
    Which no one else can capture
    It dwells in my heart;
    I see a picture
    A picture of my future
    I see a great man 
    whose shoulders
    Shall the liberation of All men
    be entrusted 
    I see a picture
    Making men smile
    Restoring hope to the lost
    Mending the broken hearted
    And liberating the liberators
    That is the picture
    I can see

    Friends! What do you say about this?


                        

  • Rookie Mohammad Tabatabaei (9/1/2013 10:07:00 AM) Post reply

    With reference to poem titled Hijaab by Sulaymon, I would like to say that it is unnatural and barbaric to hide the beauty of nature (of a woman) and it will certainly lead to sexual perversion (paedophile) which is so widespread in moslem countries.

  • Rookie Sulaymon Tadese Faozahny (8/31/2013 11:02:00 AM) Post reply

    Hijaab


    Hijaab Hijaab Hijaab
    Why the argument?
    Why do you dress the way you did?
    Do you feel ashamed?
    Were of prying eyes?

    Catholic nun in Hijab
    Christian nun in Hijab
    Mother nun in Hijab
    Muslim sister in Hijab
    Muslim sister in full veil

    How great speech
    From Reberto Maroni
    Italian Minister
    Elucidate
    That

    If the virgin Mary appears
    Wearing a veil
    On all her pictures,
    How can you ask me
    To sign a HIJAB BAN LAW?

    What did the scripturs says?
    Which control the wearing Hijab
    Corinthian 11 v 5-10
    Genesis 24 v 63-67
    Quran 33 v 59

    Therefore
    Shown that
    Christianity
    Culture
    Islam

    Enjoin women
    To cover their head
    And body
    For the protection
    Of the society

    From
    Sexual harassment
    NakedNess, promiscuity
    Fornication
    And adultery

    Using Hijab or head cover
    Therefore,
    Shows dignity, honour,
    Morality, chastity of
    Women race over animal kingdom

  • Rookie Scott Forsberg (8/29/2013 8:15:00 AM) Post reply

    Vice
    By: Scott C. Forsberg

    consumed by the poizen of the bottle.
    going down it's path at full throttle.
    indulged by it's delight, Taken by it's pleasure
    often forgetting cherished treasures
    without perception that is it's deception
    to disguise it's true intention
    until awakened in a hollow, curled around a rock
    praying for redemption now knowing it's deception

[Hata Bildir]