Critiques and Revision
(12/18/2013 7:58:00 AM)
As we stand here this silent moment
our hearts full of sorrows
our eyes full of tears
we stand before your grave
with red roses
for today is the day to remember you
we are here this hour to say thank you
for we didnt get the chance to thank you
because death took you away so fast
for death is heartless that it took away our
In return we pray to the almighty
to accept your soul in his house
may your soul find happiness
and rest in peace cause you really deserve it
we shall always remember you this day
you will always remain in our hearts
always and forever you will remain our heros
for heros like you are unforgettable
(12/17/2013 12:24:00 PM)
There is no time
There is no time today to do
what can be done tomorrow to,
but as tomorrow never comes,
perhaps I'll rearange my sums.
Perhaps I'll do today what must
and when I sleep, I'll wake, I trust.
What do you think guys?
I tend to like short poems, something up to twenty lines or so.
(12/15/2013 3:27:00 PM)
All I can manage
is an appletree
in a flowerpot
in my window
in the sunlight
all too seldom.
(12/15/2013 3:26:00 PM)
Why so silent?
Why so closed
with a mind
to match the cosmos
and a heart to share?
Why so silent?
in this world
of multi-colored shades?
Why not open up and see?
Oh why my friend?
Why hide until you die?
(12/11/2013 1:00:00 AM)
Dear Kera Bashline:
Your poems are heartfelt and thus, very honest. If you read my poem on pain, you would realize that the experience you are undergoing has been designed to bless you and make you into a better person. Find the path, and share it with others who might be undergoing the same transformation. I will pray that somebody will be sent soon to be your Guiding Light.
(12/11/2013 12:56:00 AM)
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I would like to share this poem with Kera Bashline and all others who have undergone neglect.
Who Is Afraid Of Pain
Who is afraid of pain?
That feeling of
down to the last drop
but you resist giving in
letting mind take control...
As the countdown starts
one, two, three - close
your mind, resisting
death-urge you feel a surge
of strength renewing,
adrenaline, your second wind...
Who is afraid of failing?
Soon numbs the mind
and clouds reason
to go on with challenge
no, no, no - I cannot
Thus faltering, you died.
But when you say yes-
let us surely do it
one more minute longer
let's hold on tighter
make mind take control
team body takes order...
Don't be such a bore
pain is your teacher
even your ardent lover
Pain makes life richer
be faithful, last longer...
Physical or emotional,
pain gives you release
from imagined near-deaths
Reaching peak of no return,
finding you still prevail,
scream ' Eureka - I'm immortal! '
(12/10/2013 4:58:00 PM)
The bird's eye view is incredible;
People stories below
Looking no greater than ants.
A cool wind caresses him gently,
As if urging him on.
He moves his bare feet
One step closer to the edge
Of the cold concrete.
Pale sidewalks beckon to him,
Pleading for his presence,
Praying to feel his last
Vital breath as it escapes.
Inhaling, he leaps;
Becoming first, one with the birds,
Then one with the ants.
Clarity pierces his clouded mind
A second from the ground,
Cool wind no longer embraces him
As he realizes the truth;
This is not the end.
by: S. Marrazzo
(12/7/2013 11:04:00 PM)
life's own awareness,
made by its will to survive,
yet survival of the fittest,
not all what paved man kind
For if one is to think
a course of planned divine,
then accident be awareness
given to life in mind,
for whom could survive the chance,
galactic untamed wonder,
that came with out a glance,
killing most found on her,
The fittest can not adapt
to such a timeless blow,
for surviving that death bared hour,
earths fittest, died under such power,
the weakness then grew to strongest,
and then so climbed the trees,
then when climatic changes,
forced apes to ground-ward eves
they dropped their fur and tail,
and stood two legged with hands,
They then seemed undefended, pink and weak compared,
yet brains that grew tremendous,
imagined past the body, over came weakness, and created self-awareness,
then through sounds of meaning
passed in taught, to new
the knowledge age had taught,
through a divine gift of human thought.
SO to be here and aware of it, an accident or luck,
should count the lucky stars above, for we be life's mistook,
of not so luck to be,
aware of all around,
as then you contemplate compared,
when you are in the ground.
(12/7/2013 10:53:00 PM)
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The knowing -
When light ebbs away from a livings eyes,
and livings age, pays its wage,
so the body to soul no longer does engage.
A moment of life; a livings spend
for all life; to live, it must come to an end.
after the last breath of the air we depend,
of knowing livings end.
knowing indues of its own timely demise,
death comes to all and never in disguise,
a moment that no memory can contain,
as time is at the last link of its chain,
sub to conscience combine in a mind,
conscience aware of time is made blind,
an eternal moment that lasts for a flash,
contains a life sfilled memory stash.
the knowing will bring no fear from life,
as life has lived and has no strife,
the eternal moment, the tunnel of light,
caused when deaths scythe delivers with smite,
life's whole is contained within deaths winning
an end to a beginning,
a divine book so written,
unique to each living,
so live in love and start forgiving.Replies for this message:
(12/11/2013 1:09:00 AM)
This is a similar poem on what Edward Webb adroitly explored: All Alone In The Dark Sitting by the window out of reach I have been thinking of past sorrows and joys, and so many thing ... more
(12/11/2013 1:05:00 AM)
This is so gently said, almost a welcome to life's inevitable end. Thank you for this reminder not to waste another moment. You are a fine poet, the same keen eyes you give to your photographs are ref ... more
- Doris Cornago (12/11/2013 1:09:00 AM) Post reply
(12/7/2013 10:50:00 PM)
so small the world that is its home
no science can exacting define,
yet all around including me
are made up of them deep down,
properties do suggest that realities no just as found,
So ponder the question in minds of great,
of atoms common ground,
At this level an, alien world, magic can unfurl,
and particles behave in know to humans observe,
a atom is as known, mainly void of parts,
and then questions of how any solid is apart,
simple energy attraction, is this crafted rule,
+ and -, attraction the cladded rule, opposites that sculpted all,
but universal; time, in now, as present
gravity makes binding inset mass in crescent
any that are reality made,
bend the space on which it sits.
Yet man is alone in aware that nothing else is it
With all known man uniquely does own, what is made from such a power, ?
a bomb to end all other, in earths possible final hour.
We take in blind, through a measure, interpretation in mind,
the factual patterns that we as man can find,
Yet could we be the children to a universe sat forever,
whom sat alone is aware of all, forever and forever,
but wants to exist so set a plan to make a brain of great,
who was so beautiful in its design
so a eternal they could contemplate,
and through a fact based theory made by minds of great assembly
bring forward understanding of what all may be to date,
such as E=mc2 is life laws formulae,
yet the mind who crafted this,
stated reality an illusive display,
so to know an answer to a quest,
that seems man does invest,
almost seems as life is being given a conscious test
live for life aware in your slot,
as present now real and never can be forgot,
the rest is made up in the mind of you,
and morality is what makes me and you,
so its quality is the thing I pursue, making reality as I want true