Critiques and Revision

hi never really let any other than friends see my poetry. so be gentle with me. I just use my poetry to express what I maybe can`t say. But i would be interested to see what you think. Many thanks to any who wander into my land x

Im a 17 year old chick going through and been through alot of shit. I just started opening up, at school, with my friends and now on the internet, it might be alittle disturbing to read, but I would really appreciate if you could check it out and tell me what you think, and I know Im not alone and that everyone goes through some kinda shit, so thats the stuff Im into and want to read, so I would be more than happy to read and comment on the poems of your deepest and most sincere thoughts and feelings and stories whether its your story or not.

posted my first poem here at poemhunter, , , , , was hoping to get some reviews so that i could work on my mistakes.

Hello Everyone,
Since I last posted here I have several new poems at R. K. Hart so could I ask that you take a moment and give me your thoughts. I have always referred to my self as a tradesman poet not an artist.
Best wishes to you and yours, Ray

love is a trinket
a bobble head that sits on your dash
and smiles at you in traffic
a charm on a chain that is more heavy
then the metal its made of
it is inexorably mundane
an item lost in the cracks of minutia
the clutter of oblivion
it is the useless totem that you lose and forget
and when it finds you
you can remember who gave it to you
or what it ever did for you in the first place
and so you surrender it to the grasp of the abyss
and affection turns to apathy
and the bobble head and the charm
are left to bear it all
and conjecture there own existence

Silent Soul



I am a poet
silently hidden in life's closet
with half-measured expressions
seeking to be made whole
secret imagination longing
to be bold
I am the wind
that echoes in your head
I am your reason
your silent unknown

copyright(c) 2012

Hiya, I am sure you all will visit my page and please leave a comment and help me in writing my poems accurately. Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment. For sure you can rate the poem - honest feedback is appreciated :) cheers

hey guys hoping to get some honest opinions on my poems will be sure to read and comment on your poems in return xx

I need some critisism on some of my poems,
nunn of none
Rage monster
The bottle of no pain

I would feel better with some critism. Please help. Thanks! :)

Hello all,
I wish to improve my poems more... It has been while but please commenting with your precious advice...
Thank You....
Awaiting