Critiques and Revision
(6/8/2012 11:03:00 AM)
Yes; I would consider it a poem.
You are good, your poem is good; I enjoyed reading the lines one after another with an interesting flow.
However, I couldn't help but notice that your first three stanzas follow " aaba" for a rhyme scheme, the next two stanzas follow " aabb" , while in the last one...the last line goes off the rhyme.
Do not get me wrong, it is NOT a problem, but I find that it always adds a good touch to the poem when the poem is very well structures all throughout.
That, is my suggestion, based on what I believe contributed to make the poem more appealing to the ears and eyes of the audience.
On a final note; I would not tell you to " change" that poem, since I am well aware that it might affect it's beauty, but you may use my suggestion for future poems, as I believe.
I hope my reply helps, let me know if you might need more help.