Critiques and Revision
(7/30/2012 8:06:00 AM)
I really like this poem. I like the echoing of 'circuit of my mind' and 'circles through my mind', and all the words that begin with a hard 'c'. I wonder if you could have more carnival imagery (obviously still being subtle) just to bring the whole poem together? Also, just being pedantic, should the words 'nor' in the first and last stanzas simply be 'or'?