Critiques and Revision


Post your poems here for objective, honest critiques and suggestions.
Post a message

Click here to list all messages

Ella Pitt Ella Pitt United Kingdom (3/18/2014 5:31:00 PM)

Milk

A congealed epidermis.
My repugnant antagonist.
Two hundred milliliters at
Ten forty five.
Two hundred milliliters at
Three thirty.
Just in case the emetic scent
Had evaded my nostrils.
Or the diaphonous film
Was no longer clinging to
My tonsils generating
Glutinous saliva.
I have the self sufficiency of
An overflowing bin
Begging to be relieved of
The soiled nappies and the
Mildew food packages that
Fill its cavity.
Every day I put it in the microwave
For an extra minute
Hoping that the boiling temperature
Will incinerate the impurity
That lies dorment but like mould
On my much too long tongue.
It leers at me.
Lecherous and toadying villain.
So I stir it with a spoon
That sweats with condensation

To post a reply to this message, click here
Replies for this message:

 

[Hata Bildir]