Jan Jack

Jan Jack Poems

Jan Jack Biography

I write and perform some of my verse on the comedy stand up circuit and will shortly be publishing a book of humorous verse.)

The Best Poem Of Jan Jack

Naughty Poetry-A Visit To The Zoo By Jan Jack

It was June when this incident happened
in August, two thousand and two
I’d called round for Maude, we’d been listless and bored
so decided to visit the zoo

We’d gazed in rapt awe at the zebras
then peered at the gorilla next door
he was subtly prancing, and slowly advancing
on his mate who was sat on the floor

But his mate wasn’t feeling too frisky
so he bellowed in frustrated rage
then we saw with alarm that his muscular arm
had pulled back all the bars of his cage

Our eyes were transfixed on his body
he was massive, it has to be said
It was then that we found, he was on the rebound
and was heading for Maudie instead

Her feet fairly flew from that pavement
as he pressed her against the brick wall
he ravished her body, his actions were shoddy
there was no hint of foreplay at all

The ambulance men came a-running
the gorilla showed little regret
But he did show some style, he sat still for a while
then he lit up a small cigarette

I finally went to see Maudie
she was distraught and still lying in bed
looking fairly bemused and incredibly bruised
with a bandage wrapped right round her head

I asked, “Maudie, so how are you feeling”
she just uttered a low anguished moan
She said “Say what you will, how d’you think that I feel?
Two weeks later he still hasn't phoned.....

Jan Jack Comments