No need to come out and say
You think I'm bloody well gay
Or have a secret, superior smile
'Cos you think I'm a pervert or paedophile.
...
It's Humbug Day,
Hooray, hooray!
Little children come out and play!
It's time to smile
...
I've been stealing cigarettes again.
You think it isn't nice -
You can hardly blame me though,
Considering the price!
...
Taste the sweet fruit before it turns sour!
Bask in the Eternity of love's brief hour!
Lucky to know her, lucky to find
Delicate body and beautiful mind!
...
Did you ever think that some fat old git
Would start behaving as if you're
The best thing since sliced bread?
And think about you all the time?
...
The cliches all arrive in their worn out clothes
And all the old hackneyed expressions,
They cluster around, clamouring for freedom,
And all because I love you!
...
You probably think I'm a flirt,
That I'm only after a bit of your skirt -
You're wrong about that - let me explain,
There was never much pleasure in my love affairs,
...
Please take me with a pinch of salt
And understand my foolish ways,
I may be mad but it's not my fault,
This is more than just a schoolboy craze!
...
The crimson tears of benevolent chimpanzees
Have mingled with the raindrops falling fom your eyes,
I've always loved you and I'm begging on my knees
That you won't con me with some ingenious disguise.
...