If cats could talk I think I might require
A bar of soap, or other punishment
For words my cat would say so she could vent
The full and fulsome limits of her ire.
...
Many people are fond of claiming
That they come from a family dysfunctional.
Their crimes, therefore, are not Their crimes
For their behavior is conjunctional
...
Her Majesty, The Cat
If cats could talk I think I might require
A bar of soap, or other punishment
For words my cat would say so she could vent
The full and fulsome limits of her ire.
Chim thought she'd always have her heart's desire,
But Fluffy came, a foreign element,
To take away the days of Chim's content,
And set the kindling of her wrath on fire.
Chim reigned above all others in her realm
With regal beauty fit to overwhelm,
A paragon of haughty dignity,
A cat convinced that she was royalty.
Alas, I never saw a cat so blue
As when Chim learned her royal days were through.