From Babbling Brookes I agree with some of your comments on my poems yes trite yes poor grammar sadly I am dyslexic which makes my grammar erratic in fact sometimes non existent However you do not have the courage to allow me a reply you keep yourself in your ivory tower You have helped me understand some things and I thank you but just to rip a poem apart without giving constructive critique is just cruel. I thank you again for showing me my errors and that you have mad me even more determined to write practice make perfect so they say
I'm sorry to say this is nonsense. Not good poetry and very muddled, almost a diary entry and such clumsy syntax. The was little thought put into this poem and a such ranks pretty low. Poems are not just marks on paper to be pawed over and praised. They need long thought cohesion and lyricism which this does not have. No rhythm or meter. I agree with the sentiments if not the poem. I'm sure there is a good poem lurking in here somewhere and with a little work it could be great.
Again a perfectly respectable poem which has good things and bad but so flowery it loses all its potential and ends up mired in the syrup of the mundane. It reminds me of ancient Persian poetry but that's where it belongs in the past but you need to up date your thoughts and language as there is a poet somewhere in there set it free give it new eyes. BB