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Locura Alaam
Locura Alaam Undisclosed / Bahrain, Male, 22
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About Me : My real first name is Husain. I was born in Bahrain at the 7th of July, 2012. I started writing Poetry when I was around 14; when I started, I focused more on Arabic ... more »

Locura Alaam's last comments on poems and poets

  • POEM: Secret Sins Of My Father by Karoliena Somura (11/29/2012 2:25:00 AM)

    Another very well written poem of yours! Keep it up.
    It is sad to know that there are people who actually do such things...horrible actions that should never have taken form in existence...

    Nevertheless, as a poem, you have done a wonderful job...again!

  • POEM: A confession of a pearl dealer by yoonoos peerbocus (9/23/2012 12:27:00 PM)

    A nice choice of words with an interesting flow of ideas; a fine write of thoughts.

  • POEM: Amen by Asif Andalib (9/11/2012 4:02:00 AM)

    I like how it's simple and straight to the point. Some things are better said brief than wreathed with so much blabbery. keep it up

Read all 23 comments »

Locura Alaam's comments on forums

  • Locura Alaam (6/8/2012 11:03:00 AM) Post reply

    Yes; I would consider it a poem.
    You are good, your poem is good; I enjoyed reading the lines one after another with an interesting flow.
    However, I couldn't help but notice that your first three stanzas follow " aaba" for a rhyme scheme, the next two stanzas follow " aabb" , while in the last one...the last line goes off the rhyme.
    Do not get me wrong, it is NOT a problem, but I find that it always adds a good touch to the poem when the poem is very well structures all throughout.
    That, is my suggestion, based on what I believe contributed to make the poem more appealing to the ears and eyes of the audience.

    On a final note; I would not tell you to " change" that poem, since I am well aware that it might affect it's beauty, but you may use my suggestion for future poems, as I believe.

    I hope my reply helps, let me know if you might need more help.

    Regards,
    Locura

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