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AUTHOR'S NOTE - to whom it may concern: This and all my other pieces on this site are obviously works of fiction (fruit of the creative mind) . I'm glad if my readers feel stirred by them & respond. However, if some of you think that by reading my poems you can see my reality or detect my behaviour and then feel entitled to point a moral finger at me, you should go back to your literary criticism books and do your homework. You are apparently confusing fact & fiction, author & narrator, people & characters. Thank you so much! AND NOW TRY TO ENJOY AGAIN:
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So, I'm leaning back in my armchair saying to myself: 'See, - now, what was all this turmoil about? You are doing fine these days, aren't you? Sit back, relax and for once take life easy: There's nothing to complain about, you're safe and sound where you belong, doing fine - and don't you deny it! ' And Lady Reason, old, grey and wise is nodding her head in this infuriatingly calm way. When she starts speaking - her voice unbearably soothing - I can feel it go click inside me. She says: 'Yes, yes, dear, you could have it so much better, if you just accepted reality as it is. Don't delude yourself, don't daydream - dreams are just deviations of the soul, bound to make you suffer in the long run - foolish drolleries, all of them.' I know, I know all of this and some domesticated part of me even agrees, but still - I can already sense the run of this argument and yes, just as I expected, here he comes.
Here he is approaching, this He-Man type of a bloke, bold and beautiful, a warrior for my dreams and desires. And while Reason is quietly talking on and on, her mumblings fading into the background of my consciousness, he is leaning over, whispers to me, his voice and his breath against the skin below my ear sending shivers down my spine. 'Come on, let's go. Remember the fun we had - you know I can take you to each and every place you wish for, to where the world is yours and yours alone. Every aspect made for your pleasure - each coast yours to explore.'
And so I am slowly beginning to lose my grip - starting to float into the deep again, following. The woman is shouting after me 'Don't you know that with each of these excursions you are getting lighter and with each return the weight will be more unbearable! ' But I am off already, I know, I think, The weight of water - the weight of words. But she can not stop me, not yet. I'll think about it after I have come crashing again - later.
From the distance I can see her shaking her head and I nearly feel sorry for her.
jkd jkd
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