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Plague Rose

Complex Regret

In the mirror of my dreams
A lady stands there and looks at me
She wears white simple and pretty
She stands alone happy as can be
I wish to be her
But I don't know why
She's all alone
But still she smiles
I see her at night
And all of the time
But sometimes
When I look closer
I see something more
As if she is being watched over
By an almost heavenly being
As if that creature
Is all she needs
I want to be her
But I don't know how
People tell me
But I don't understand
My pride is my enemy
I try to eat him
But he tastes like sand
Dull and poisoned
In the shape of an apple
If I take a bite
I become vulnerable
But the lady I see
Tells me not to fret
That I needn't swallow my pride
But simply
Set it aside and save it
For rainier days
I'm not sure I believe her
But that's what she says
And sometimes
If I stay a little bit longer
The creature that watches her
Sits and speaks
To the lady and me
Sometimes we laugh
And sometimes we cry
Thinking of memories
Of the rainier days gone by
But me I think
That rain is sort of okay
But the creature and her
Say it's better on other days
Like when it's sunny and clear
And happy and joyful
When children are out
Playing games and having fun
In parks with parents about
I wish to be there
I wish to have fun
But my work is inside
And my poetry
It must be finished
Or else I fear
My pride will not be severed
Never in my long hard years
And the black ink that is my puppet
Will feed my pride with
A killer's smile
And eyes that are big
And eyes that are wild
Ink and pride are all I have
Until the day when our goals
Are achieved
That is how it must be
But the lady
She still speaks
And tells me the same
And tells me again
That the creature behind her
Would like to be my friend
But still I cannot believe her
For the creature has no name
She tries to tell me
But I cannot hear
She tries to save me
But I cannot bear
The thought of losing
Ink and pride
Two friends
That are all mine
And time will stop
And I will die
Buried in black
With ink and pride
And the lady and the creature
Who I know now to be an angel
Sit disappointed
As the lady my soul
Slowly fades
As I fall and crumble
Into ink's unblinking eyes
And now I know
What the lady was trying to say
She wanted to tell me
That this is not the way
And that ink and pride
Are simply that
A used up pen
And a smiling sin
These words I could not hear
And now it's too late
And now the mirror
Which once held angels
And my beautiful soul
Are now in black
Drenched in smoke and blood
For what I thought was ink
And what I thought was pride
Was just a demon
That haunts my dreams
And gives me pride and takes it back
If only I knew his name
The angel who made me laugh
And gave me hope and reason
Not to cry
This angel whose name I could not hear
The angel called Compromise

Submitted: Saturday, January 12, 2013
Edited: Saturday, January 12, 2013

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