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Diane Hine

Freshman - 2,381 Points (25 July 1956)

Stance


We found ourselves on a vessel. Unless
some inner-ear ailment skewed our balance
(to equal extent, all five of us leant)
the sea itself lay aslant. A canted
planet perhaps? The sea was dynamic

in a bouncy way. Autonomous waves
moved in inscrutable ways. Some loitered.
The sea's skin was opalescent, opaque
and wobbly; more ‘set' than ‘wet'. "Colloidal, "
said Troy, toying with his kumbaloi. "I

guess a multitude of moons must conduct
the tidal flux." Several contrary
breezes fluttered with a buttery touch.
Oozy clouds sagged like warm Camembert and
Myra said, "Reminds me of the prairie

dogs, the waves I mean, I think they're tracks. Life;
things tunnelling, finding food and smooching."
The sea smouldered with a marcasite light.
I dipped my toe in (to the dispute not
the sea) . "Subsonic thunder or music? "

The theory earned me a dismissive glance
but I fancied that their ears were straining.
Why else would a cohesive surface dance
if not inaudibly resonating?
It rained. Our skins wore an oily raiment.

A wind juddered. We all shuddered. "Alive, "
said Clive. "Fools, can't you see we've been swallowed.
We're sailing in a stomach full of bile.
We must row, row, row back up the dog's throat."
Clive was always a bit of a sod, so

we ignored him and sulked. Then Cuthbert said,
"I've got a great idea for a prank." He
climbed (up) . "Come down, " we cried, "you'll break your neck."
Out on a yard he demo'd his ‘planking'.
We cheered; took his picture; ‘twas top-ranking!

Submitted: Saturday, August 03, 2013
Edited: Monday, September 16, 2013

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  • Freshman - 1,505 Points Dinesh Nair (8/18/2013 9:09:00 AM)

    I wish I too were a sailor in danger...
    If we are once courageous, we fall in love,
    If we are twice courageous, we go for war and
    If we are thrice courageous, we go to the sea, Someone has said.

    I stand and look at these prospects with zero courage even to write a poem on sea faring like this Diane..
    I give a clear 10 out of 10 for your poem. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,512 Points Anthony Di''anno (8/12/2013 9:13:00 AM)

    I once spent a miserable fortnight sailing the South Atlantic. I have never felt so wretched. Thank you for bringing it all back (up) . Yet another excellent use of words and wit. You are indeed a wonderful wordsmith Diane. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,512 Points Anthony Di''anno (8/12/2013 9:11:00 AM)

    I once spent a miserable fortnight sailing the South Atlantic. I have never felt so wretched. Thank you for bringing it all back (up) . Yet another excellent use of words and wit. You are indeed a wonderful wordsmith Diane. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 218 Points David Wood (8/10/2013 5:07:00 AM)

    Oceans inspire poets either about them, or inspiration is drawn when near the sea. A great write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 134 Points Danny Draper (8/3/2013 11:08:00 PM)

    A sustained and engaging nonsense poem which are not easy to write in any cohesive manner. The dialogue and descriptions of otherwise amorphous landscapes is witty and precise where no datum point is certain, respectively. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,655 Points Lyn Paul (8/3/2013 7:06:00 AM)

    Your imagination is amazing Diane. You are such a great story telller. I see many books with your words waiting to be published. Thank you (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 218 Points David Wood (8/3/2013 6:03:00 AM)

    I love sailing, I don't do it now but I did enjoy sailing along the English coastline. This delightful poem brings back fond memories. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,580 Points Valsa George (8/3/2013 4:40:00 AM)

    So the five member crew must have had an exciting time in the 'opaque and wobbly' sea! Enjoyed your adventure! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,963 Points Valerie Dohren (8/3/2013 4:36:00 AM)

    I feel quite sick now, never was a good sailor. Your imagination is rampant as ever Diane, fascinating write. (Report) Reply

Read all 11 comments »

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