Hat Trick Poem by Shane Markie

First thing in the morning
It's best not to have
A bleeding, gaping hole in your head.

First thing in the morning
It's best not to eat toast
From an unopened loaf of sourdough bread.

First thing in the morning
It's best not to drink cans of V-8 juice
Lest you be standing in pools of charteruse
next to a stopped-up kitchen sink.

First thing in the morning
The best thing to do
Is to stuff those slices of sourdough bread

Inside that gaping, bleeding hole in your head.