Spike Milligan Poems

I saw a little elephant standing in my garden,
I said 'You don't belong in here', he said 'I beg you pardon?',
I said 'This place is England, what are you doing here?',
He said 'Ah, then I must be lost' and then 'Oh dear, oh dear'.
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Born screaming small into this world-
Living I am.
Occupational therapy twixt birth and death-
What was I before?
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Somewhere at some time
They committed themselves to me
And so, I was!
Small, but I WAS!
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So they bought you
And kept you in a
Very good home
Cental heating
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If you're attacked by a Lion
Find fresh underpants to try on
Lay on the ground quite still
Pretend you are very ill
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I was thinking of letters,
We all have a lot in our life
A few good - a few sad
But mostly run of the mill-
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The essence of true beauty
Lingers in all-encompassing rainbows
Of your joy and laughter
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Drake is going west, lads
So Tom is going East
But tiny Fred
Just lies in bed,
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If I could write words
Like leaves on an autumn forest floor,
What a bonfire my letters would make.
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English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.
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