Dream Poem by Mehrdad Dadkhah

Dream

Rating: 3.0


Come dance with me little devil while holding a red flower
Two roads diverged in front of us, you took the left, I another
Where have you been I saw you dance and dance in that egregious ring of fire
I let you have all of my soul so you can chastise it in your honor
Where are you now I think it's been thousand thousand thousands of years
I couldn't take it any longer yet you kept dancing and dancing in that enormus ring of fire
So I said: My flower, my red flower come enervate my desire
Come take it all bring me higher I am selling souls where is buyer
As the pedals fell my soul cramped the world then end in that raging fire
You stood tall Contempt in eyes always aloof, I mesmerized
All emotion concede to lies the world then end right before eyes
Yet I saw u keep on dancing while the pedals fell everywhere
You were all safe and sound while the fire burn everything there
That was the last part of the dream. I thought of all as illusion but my soul begs to differ
As it lacks emotions
So hear me now, my dear old-self, come save me from ingenuous I,
keep having these indecorous thoughts, as I'm dying in her honor
so may she dance in honor of mine

Dream
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
Ok! I am totally a newbie. What I am asking is for your opinion about this poem (I don't even know if it can be called one in the first place lol)
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
David Wood 17 May 2023

Another good start, though a bit long for a newbie. Here is a challenge: write a Haiku. Three lines, first line 5 syllables, second line 7 syllables, third line 5 syllables. Haiku's are normally about nature. Good luck!

1 0 Reply
Mehrdad Dadkhah 17 May 2023

I don't what it is but I sure look into it tnxxxxxx. But i wonder of u know of any way to change it into sth with more rhythm? I mean can i rewrite it using Haiku?

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