Insomnia
I go back to black.
When you're not here to hold me,
when I step on the scale.
I go back to black. There can be no gray when your mind is black.
White is a white room, with the door locked.
Intense black and intense white is:
60,50,40 30,20,10,5,3,
0 lbs.
You have a shield from life,
that will leave your life closing, fading, dead.
But right now, I'm not sure what color I am.
I weighed myself this morning.
My soul sank,
for I'd made unforgivable mistakes.
Nude is bare, but large.
I can't sleep.
I took seven benzos on Tuesday. I'm dry.
My mind restless, reckless.
I want yo fade away,
I don't want to feel.
Anything, anything but you.
I don't know why you stay around,
seeing my nude body almost daily.
Push me out, let me fade away.