Butterflies In My Belly Forever Poems

My soul wants to cry as I look around and wonder why..
Work then hospital then home to die.
Pick up my child pretend not to be numb,
Put on my happy face and stick up my thumb.
...

Now here I am once again,
my stomach is a mess.
I pull myself out of bed and manage to get dressed.
Get my son and off we go...
...

Why is it that you cannot tell the truth?
Do I not deserve to have that part of you?
All this time we have fought so hard to have the love we desire.
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What is around this life that I see?
Someone is staring at every turn, hoping that I will crash and burn.
Someone is glaring at the back of my head.. judging me..loathing me.
...

Her eyes sparkle,
Her smile like the sunshine.
I hope she'll always be the closest friend of mine.
Her heart like the pot of gold.. something inside of her I'll always hold while her story is quietly told.
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This seclusion that only you surrounds me.
I am frail and cold laying on the floor..
Shaking uncontrollably as I hear loud echoes of your voice saying
'come find me when you need me...'
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I used to call him dad,
Now I call him sad.
He is dead to me just like my mother.
My real dad died long ago and she married him thereafter.
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When I look around I see people around me and yet I am alone.
Alone in a world that depending on how you see it will either make you or break you.
The alone I have is something that takes time and God to relieve,
The people in my life have done nothing but deceive.
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What is it about confusion..
The lies that distort things and throw us into an infusion
Of fury or hurt or feelings of rejection,
Is it real or just a reflection.
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What is it about Mothers that are like magic?
The smile on their face..
The sparkle in their eye..
Is it the element of thought and surprise?
...