Cheska I.

'Aren't you just letting yourself drown? '
'Aren't you just embracing what's thrown at you? '
'Aren't you just letting yourself stay sad and down? '
'Aren't you just embracing being blue? '
...

I'd rather live in hallucination, delusion and insanity,
Than to live in sense, reasonableness and rationality.
Because for me, delirium is decalcomania in the wits
And reality is a kaleidoscope of abstract chaos.
...

I love you, I know it's wrong but that is all I know
I need you, but I will never show
How you hit me with pleasurable waves of your beauty
How you bring me happiness with your lovely, addicting voice
...

Thoughts of endless end ends her,
She wants it, she has to have it.
But the thought of agonizing agony agonizes her;
She wants it plain sailing, she wants it trouble free.
...

Lean in, breathe out, look at the sky and shout
Cave in, submit, collapse and get lost
Go on, make it last, let it flow and let it pass
Stand up, stand tall, move on and be strong
...

You wanted a beautiful death,
Where the birds are singing,
And trees are dancing,
And the wind is whistling songs.
...

As I look at the light that brings me contentment,
The sprinkled diamonds that give me happiness,
The cool breeze that relaxes my soul,
I can't help but to say "I love you"
...

I wrote for you, you must've noticed;
Made a way to be in your way, you must've noticed.
Saw to it that my presence will be obvious, you must've noticed;
Gave away green flags everyday, you must've noticed.
...

How are your lips sealed when you badly want to yell?
How are you so quiet when you're practically living in hell?
How are you living like that, isolated and unwell?
How are surviving without trying to tell,
...

The soul broken to pieces still chooses to be kind;
Ray of sunshine from shattered glass;
Amber fire burning the insides;
Pungent scent of rotting flesh;
...

It's there, it'll always be;
The feeling of being watched,
The feeling of being vulnerable,
The feeling of disgust.
...

A little ghost in the dark, my soul.
Wanting to run in your arms for an embrace.
But I'm going in circles,
Not knowing where to go.
...

The silent lights
The silent night
The only time I get my peace
The only time I get release
...

You've certainly lost yourself,
When you know you came from this sunshine,
To this never ending dark space;
To this never ending empty tunnel.
...

You've said countless times, 'This isn't me'
You've said countless times, 'This couldn't be'
But you are here, and it is you
But you are here, and there's nothing you can do.
...

I want to say goodbye too, but I can't
I wanna go too, but my time spent
Woth everyone is such a waste so I'll try,
Holding on, no matter how my seas have dried.
...

It has been a comfort habit
A nice, cold feeling
On my skin, and finally it
Graces me with its pleasure
...