John Hegley Poems

Lent, is meant to be spent fasting,
In rememberance of the Lord,
Lasting six weeks without a decent meal,
Six weeks in the desert,
...

how I remember the old scoutmaster
nobody could start a camp-fire faster
I can see the old scoutmaster in the old scout hut
saying always carry a plaster
...

Relieving myself in the Mediterranean
it occurs to me that some of my wee
has become part of the wider sea
which triggers thoughts of individuals
...

We were fourteen
and the two of us went camping
and you smuggled into my tent
and we smuggled
...

hello amoeba I wish you were my pet
but you're not really big enough to be seen by the vet
are you?
you're a little blob of jelly
...

I'm in India
feeling more secure
and less likely to get chinned 'ere
I made friends with a steam-train firemen
...

I believe this society to be
deeply keen to enforce
distinctions of gender
fearful of course
...

Once, a skinhead in my class
came round my house in his Doctor Martens
and passing the rubber galoshes
which my dad wore
...

Once a Centurion soldier,
Said, Venus how I want to hold you,
She replied, I'm a god,
And it's great on my tod,
...