John St. Martin

John St. Martin Poems

John St. Martin Biography

A little about me: Born in a small mining town, some where between the drunks and ruffians it created sometime after their birth. Did I always smoke well probably since my father smoked while changing my diaper. A man truly ahead of his time. I write my sadistic humor and sad prose under the name of St. Martin because the police are looking for under my other aliases, and I like the general Irony of the name and the content of my material. I worked as male stripper for ten minutes. They won’t pay you if you have a performance anxiety problem. It was all part of my plan to go on permanent disability insurance. But my employer forgot to pay the premiums! ! I my spare time I enjoy: Stalking the Neighbors Flowers, “Oh the Marigolds and Lilies, sweet” Tipping Mailboxes with a grocery cart, “It just got less challenging as I got older” The all time favorite! Dog shit in paper bag on fire placed on the neighbor’s porch “I shouldn’t have to explain this one” Teasing street prostitutes with T-Bills in a stolen sports car Listening to industrial music, “This helps me to relieve the dark thoughts. You see when you listen to it, (i.e. is a group straight men signing about homosexual tendencies and war, while banging things with sharp metal objects in the ambiance of techno synth music) . You realize your life is okay.” And of course driving round the town, blaring the music I want to here at the decibel level of my choice! My Life Story: Well it’s too long and depressing for this site so I’ll just stick to humor. My personal quote: “If you can’t enjoy it, I ain’t worth having” Personal Do’s and Don’ts: Do Brush your teeth in the morning, or before a date Don’t Brush your teeth during a police spot-check Do Take a woman out to a movie of her choice Don’t Limit her choices to one of the following a) Fantastic Four b) Bat Man Beginnings c) Star Wars Episode III Do Wear clean underwear on a date Don’t Wash it in the fancy restaurant bathroom before you settle the bill. (especially if your drunk and stumble into the women’s side.) Do Take a moment each day to reflect on your life and where it is going Don’t Take it in traffic at the red light before it turns green)

The Best Poem Of John St. Martin

Drunk

God that feeling
Of spending your money
Down the drain fall
While your pissing in the smelly stall
Waiting for some girl to flirt
While your face down in the dirt
This foggy loveless haze
Blocking out the better daze
Thank god it's only on Good Friday

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