as i hold your hands into mine,
loosing all courage to look right at your face,
...
Love Flush.
as i hold your hands into mine,
loosing all courage to look right at your face,
as i create an uncomfortable silence,
looking for words, still i don't know what to say.
and you spoil it all by a blush when you say ‘your beautiful..'
your finger lifting my face now my eyes fixed on you, ‘your beautiful its true'
i now cant talk at all,
my tongue tied to my jaw,
tears start to form
wanting to overflow and break the brink
as i repeatedly blink..
i don't want to cry
i don't want to lie
but i have to do it,
i have to do it now
am lost in weary clouds,
scared of what was brewing in the dark,
without sunlight no moist it grows,
so fast so strong!
it will pierce my skin, already breaks my bones,
the more i delay,
i start to decay
and become a monster born,
a monster with horns
but i cant tell you the whole truth,
if i do you will find words, ..
words to sooth,
if i do you'll get all kinds of ideas
like the last decision of a haunted deer
i have to make it look so real and genuine
i…i cant think of anything
i cant say my parents disapprove us,
you'll tell me you truly love me,
then follow the baby, sweetheart, darling and honey
you'll remind me of all the things we went through,
the dates, events, running projects, ups and downs of school,
the false flames that ignites when men hear those words,
makes them fierce lions,
makes them flying birds,
makes them bold and loose themselves completely
‘we can run! yes we can build our lives together, prove them wrong! please lets do it quickly'
and afterwards away from family and friends with husband and that new tiny house you now have
everything going fine not knowing how soon it comes the expiry date of your stormy love,
he comes to think ‘i gave all that up, went through all that, did all that…for a woman! ! ! '
start seeing what your parents were and you were not
i have grown so attached,
mother why no? ?
i have grown so attached!
why tell me now?
she only says,
you don't know the lengths a human can go, .
you just don't know!
the little you ignored is what i saw,
a seed of future horror
makes me put a guard for my daughter,
so stay away i tell you as a warning and advice,
a burden on you, but just do don't decide!
marriage is not a smooth ride!
and i don't want you to have a dummy as a partner and fellow guide
she has been with me all my life,
she has not been correct all through,
but she has been a wife, ..
familiar with the title, duties and responsibilities that comes with the vow
and if she has wanted the best for me then, she wants the best for me now.
so in the noisy night,
my skin pale, my face purple,
my shaking self trying to be stable,
he placed his hands on mine, ..
and whispered again ‘you don't look fine'
and the respect i had for you,
told me you deserve the truth, ..
the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!