My nature is bleak
I am the way I am
The front faces outwards there is peace here
A surface of tranquil wax
...
I sit, I stare one thousand yards, i'm still
I'm still here, but not still, anxious, checking, waiting
I'm angry, empty, fighting thoughts
I don't give up, not yet, small hope
...
Hollow, I have to fill this void.
Emptiness is sapping at my will.
Frantic clutching at straws to make it stop.
I'll do anything for it to end.
...
I don't pay heed to my past.
I move and shift. Get my distractions.
At any cost I must carry on, never reflecting.
In the wake of my needs people collect their thoughts.
...
I could lay here forever.
If only I could stop thinking.
I could lay here forever and rest.
My thoughts won't slow.
...
Gutting, the feeling pulls my everything, my world down to my feet
Vision distorts, gaze narrows to a tunnel and the peripheral blurs
I used to know there was a way to leave this place
It's just me and what I can't shake here, the world spectates
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Solace isn't something that comes so naturally.
I'm searching for something cathartic.
Knowing myself will keep me at bay.
tearing down that which gives me peace.
...
Thinking of a grid above a drain.
clotting blood sinks below it.
I Wash it away like my guilt.
Stains remain, they are here forever.
...
Remember to trust your instinct.
People say words to create the necessary illusion.
Their actions speak louder but they cannot hear them.
I see them.
...