Melissa Joy Chesky Poems

I still try to make sense of how it happened.
A trip, a stutter, a falter
An accidental lunge, a misstep;
My ineffectual bricks for feet couldn't find ground
...

Of course, of course it's you that made the call
Because it's only you that thinks of me in this pitch dark.
Only you, only you desire, or are unaware, of this passivity.
Only you can so quickly break my bars and morals.
...

It's not fair that you are so far from near
Because I still have those days where your words fall on my ears
And most heavily on few fragile memories.
It's not fair that I have to shut out and darken the present, the reality, the constants in my life
...

It's so easy
The distance
So easy for me
The vagueness
...

I'm just a zygote in a zygote
When this was a close memory.
I was just a distant possibility,
Maybe an improbability,
...

Everything screams,
"I told you so."
I walk back
Defeated in my own game
...

So I guess this makes me
A little more human than I wanted to be,
To let someone hold on and wish for you;
This is something I never thought I'd have to do.
...

Don't call me honey or dear,
You've lost that privilege some time ago.
You don't have the right,
No, the permission,
...

When I start to fall for you again
It's just a matter of time before the bargaining begins
A bet on how far down I'll go
And hoping I can just finally say "no"
...

You, Muse, are harder to extract from my present than thought possible.
The inspiration from your inflicted pain is both addicting and agonizing,
You are like cocaine as I write about you,
But after the inscribed I come down from my clouds and crash hard
...