Breaking Poem by Melissa Joy Chesky

It's not fair that you are so far from near
Because I still have those days where your words fall on my ears
And most heavily on few fragile memories.
It's not fair that I have to shut out and darken the present, the reality, the constants in my life
Just to see your face, just to see a smile, just to see the past.
It's like choosing between food and water; I crave life, but I thirst for nostalgia.
I yearn for the feelings and the caress again, whether gentle or not.
It's not fair that a simple parting of your lips makes me break my own promises,
My will breaking at every promiscuous word and temptation,
Breaking at every chance of a change in you,
Breaking at every glance of a chance for me.
You offer up the world to me and only give me oceans of regret.
But nonetheless, you still appear to me like a blasphemous Holy Grail.
Why do you only hide in my non-descript words?
Why do you only live behind my eyes?
Why do you only speak to me in wayward dreams with unraveling seams?
Why do you only haunt me?
Why does this only hurt me?