Neil McGreevy

I'm on the road to nowhere
it's a place I know they grow hair
and I know a man with no hair
so I'm on the road to nowhere
...

You speak of the rule of law
but I've heard it all before
it can only be described as obsolete
when the one who does the crime
...

I shot an arrow into the air
it fell to earth I know not where
but when I heard a strangled cry
I knew it hadn't gone that high
...

I'm having a lovely day
my pension is late, I'm putting on weight
my joints are creaking, the boiler is leaking
I can't find my keys and I've run out of cheese
...

Oh, to be in England
now that April's there
fish & chips, candy floss
and sun hats everywhere
...

The PM stood on the burning deck
whence all but he had fled
financial crisis round his neck
and nothing in his head
...

The sky was black as a hangman's heart
cold mist hung like a shroud
rain lashed down on the windswept cove
from the dark and stormy clouds
...

My head sits on the upper deck
squarely perched upon my neck
it's quite a cozy habitat
a handy spot to put my hat
...

The boy stood on the burning deck
whence all but he had legged it
waiting for a word from dad
not knowing dad had pegged it
...

Here is a poem wot I wrote
so short, and yet so simple
I'd rather have you on my lips
than a cold-sore or a pimple
...

We were drifting at sea, just the dinghy and me
and the weather had so far been grand
when out of the clouds came a rumble so loud
that I buried my face in my hands
...

I remember when I was three
My father took me to see the sea
We played in the sand with bucket and spade
And dined on popcorn and lemonade
...

I shot an arrow into the air
it landed on the garden chair
unfortunately for the cat
that's where he sleeps
...

Here is an acronym wot I wrote
that has to do with science
it helps you mend machines and things
and the odd household appliance
...

I once sat down to draw a graph
of how the height of one giraffe
divided by a pink balloon
could stop us landing on the moon
...

If I had a pet hippopotomus, I'd teach him to sit and to bark,
I'd feed him on popcorn and weetabix, and take him for walks in the park
I'd make him a bed in the sitting room, and get him some toys of his own
...

Springtime, pantomime
shift the grime, rid the slime
Half-time is playtime
grab a coke, have a smoke
...

You may think it's strange
but just for a change
the mat went and sat on the cat,
the moon jumped over the cow,
...

Does your ping go pong when you sing a silly song
Do your flip flops flap along the floor
Does your clackety clack when you try to scratch your back
Because your jingle doesn't jangle any more
...

A friend asked me to build a fence
for quite a handsome recompense
and though I had once built a wall
it wasn't quite the same at all
...