Pauline Levesque Poems

Lush and vibrate is a memory of my youth, of rivers white and blue of unknown adventures that made my heart beat a little...
life coursed threw my veins... the thumping of my pulse reminded me I was awake.
Pretend that the warmth of you is hidden away..
Pretend that it is almost at an end and there are no more wonders to be seen
...

Does she love me, tolerate me, like me?

I grate like sandpaper on her every nerve, it seems nothing I say or do is right, not centered enough, not strong enough…..
...

I just don’t know what is wrong?
The peach was sweet, the juice thick
And her smile ….oh her smile….
Don’t speak, don’t analyze, don’t move, don’t be
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that after the most amazing weekend that now I have to be without you.
You still permeate my thoughts, my soul and my heart.
Your sweet scent is in my clothes, my bed....
I ache for you and there is no immediate relief in sight.
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Walking the halls of insanity,
Frozen by fear and doubt,
Unable to break the cycle of abandonment, trust and abuse.
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With all my doubts and uncertainty’s,
My fears and the ghosts from the past,
She brings light and happiness into my life.
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Is this the price I pay for love?
A battle of wills a battle of the past, the ghosts of past transgressions,
Moments are rot with pain, anguish, then….
Peace, happiness like nothing I have ever
...

Now that it is over, I am startled by how deep the pain goes.
I know eventually it will subside,
That I will want to live again but
For now, I feel sick.
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So many tears, so much pain,
My heart pumps blood on the floor…
It’s not in my chest anymore!
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It is about the pain, isn’t it baby?
It’s about the strips of flesh we have taken from each other in the name of safety and trust.
Trying to maintain our squares of independence, our sense of self..
Rivers of fresh water need to run over the wounds and the cuts we have inflicted…
...