Victim of despondency,
I run to desolation
I cannot bare the transparency
and shame of the situation.
...
So silent,
I could hear your hearts tear drops
as they fell; you were in pain.
In vain, you forced a bright face.
...
When I look at you,
I get a heart ache.
Bad memories of that night,
give me a headache.
...
Trying to think, I hit a dead end,
an emptiness I'm yet to comprehend,
I lack morale and mood,
I'm sure not feeling good.
...
How I soiled my repute,
how my heart was thorned,
with confused mood dispute,
my joy down toned.
...
He lived a book,
and always wore the same look,
of worry and mourn,
from dusk to dawn.
...
I shed a tear,
from what sight shows.
you are no more dear,
soul away flows,
...
Falling
Victim of despondency,
I run to desolation
I cannot bare the transparency
and shame of the situation.
I cry to make me feel better,
but their laughter is too loud,
so i cry in silence reading the letter,
losing myself into the sorrowful cloud.
It was now in the past, my time of boast,
overconfidence and bragging,
that moment when i made a toast,
I did not know behind i will be lagging.
Pride comes before a fall,
but who says one needs no help to get back up?
I had that fall,
because i did not call Jesus for backup.
Now a lesson is learned,
and experience earned.
Unknown though is how long,
I will be paying for my wrong.
Heaven help me out,
and wipe out the doubt,
of whether i shall rise again,
or even live through the pain.