Midnights Voice

Freshman - 1,133 Points (November 3,1950 / Selma, Alabama)

1313 Primrose Street

Old Friends
sat on their hands
leaning forward
swinging their feet
like second grade

1313 Primrose Street
The first thing I ever
Except for the following fear
of empty heartbeats following me from Texas

The sharks always fascinated me
charged me with apprehension
Evil dark black eye of devotion
they were all maneaters

Her skin was sandpaper thin
She made me always bleed
She drank shark's liver oil
and made me always smile
She was a maneater

On a mountaintop my love
came avalanching down
Even January's cold was no match
for what I was told
I drove back to Birmingham
with the thermostat stuck
but I didn't care, I couldn't be colder
frozen in my forlorn heart of despair

Submitted: Friday, December 14, 2012
Edited: Friday, February 27, 2015

Topic of this poem: broken heart

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Poem takes place in the following: Wichita Falls, Texas. Selma, Alabama. Huntsville, Alabama. Birmingham, Alabama.1953-1970

Comments about this poem (1313 Primrose Street by Midnights Voice )

  • Rookie - 104 Points Yash Shinde (4/5/2014 12:58:00 PM)

    .bravo sir...wonderful emotions put together in form of a lovely write............. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 309 Points Shania K. Younce (3/28/2014 8:01:00 PM)

    Very well put. Bien! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 659 Points V P Mahur (3/13/2014 4:16:00 AM)

    Dear Poet,
    nice description this one. I liked it s expressions.

    I invite you to read my poems and give your views on them.
    you can try this one:

    'Moral Crime'
    What you did with my heart
    Only used it for a flirt
    I thought
    You will feel my feelings
    Of sincere love
    And will be with me
    Even in the deserted time
    But you proved to be
    Thanks! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 93 Points Payal Parande (3/7/2014 11:24:00 AM)

    wonderful emotions plated up beautifully, bravo sir (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,236 Points Noreen Carden (10/20/2013 4:41:00 PM)

    Frozen in my forlorn heart of despair wow great line love it i am green with envy[well green is an irish colour]
    Well done to you Thomas (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 299 Points Adeline Foster (9/25/2013 4:04:00 PM)

    Interesting poem, but then it was intended to be. Read mine - We The Unencumbered -
    Adeline (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 7,260 Points Neela Nath (9/9/2013 8:56:00 PM)

    Down the memory lane.Nostalgia, the vivid memory of the golden past! Very nice! It's heart-touching too. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 2 Points Louis Cecile (8/2/2013 4:27:00 AM)

    The feeling of reminiscing about a time in a town that brings back hard memories is well portrayed. Even more is the insight for what dangers lied in such a place to leave one cold. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 9,695 Points Heather Wilkins (6/26/2013 10:21:00 AM)

    a good thought. My first to remember was our telephone number. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 603 Points Shahzia Batool (5/30/2013 3:10:00 AM)

    OMG! i regret why did i read the comments after reading the poem! they distracted me: (
    1953-1970 looks like a turbulent phase of life, sharks look like the symbols of some persons or problems like necessary evils.! this woman is like minion of Balzac! (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,586 Points Bri Edwards (12/20/2012 10:25:00 PM)

    your notes about poem don't really help me. i got the feeling someone died down south and you returned for funeral. a relative? an old girlfriend? neither/nobody? missing letter in mountain. interesting. thanks for sharing. shark(s) ? in the Gulf? (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 6,397 Points Lyn Paul (12/18/2012 7:23:00 AM)

    I hope you gained from this experience, there are many leeches out there. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 126 Points Kelvin Owusu (12/17/2012 5:55:00 AM)

    i get an image of a she devel, a excellent poem (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 652 Points Paul Brookes (12/17/2012 2:29:00 AM)

    Sounds like an apocolyptic woman to me. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,688 Points S.zaynub Kamoonpuri (12/16/2012 10:06:00 PM)

    Mixd images come to mind as i read dis wonderful poem. U r artfully sublime. I tend to give ambiguous interpretations to such fine abstract poetry. For instance a femmefatale comes to mind. Regards fav poet sir. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Heather Wilson (12/16/2012 5:46:00 AM)

    Shark liver oil on a mountain of love on a January day, nothing can beat that, .hope your forllorn heart is unfrozen now, a brilliant write,10 for sure. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,682 Points Veeraiyah Subbulakshmi (12/15/2012 7:58:00 PM)

    a woman who made you to bleed, also was the reason for your smile! the untold story can be imagined as we wish! but too cold and sad! the last stanza tries to elaborate, but get soaked! 10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 52 Points Erika Wingo (12/15/2012 1:27:00 PM)

    This is so beautifully written, I got lost within your visualizations. The words and their meaning burned into my heart. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 386 Points Chandra Thiagarajan (12/15/2012 10:44:00 AM)

    A story told with great intensity The words -.On a mountain my love/ came avalanching down / -!
    Wonderful poem so touching! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 55 Points Jahan Zeb (12/15/2012 6:41:00 AM)

    The whole poem is of great qualities but the last part is matchless. Great artistic work. I loved the flow of the words of this piece. very touching.

    Even January's cold was no match................. what connection dear. (Report) Reply

Read all 25 comments »

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