There’s a phone call on my landline and another on my cell,
So I’m not sure which one I should answer next.
I’ve just received ten e-mails, plus twelve or thirteen texts,
You’ll forgive me if I’m feeling slightly stressed.
Here I’m sat at my PC, trying to download films for free,
(Though I won’t say from which website, you can guess.)
And I write another tweet, as I grab a bite to eat,
Any wonder that I’m suffering from stress?
I’m on all good social networks – Facebook, Linkedin, Google Plus,
And I’ve loads and loads of followers on Twitter.
I’ve an iPad and a Kindle, I buy e-books by the bundle,
But I can’t remember how to write a letter.
I’ve been playing Texas Hold ‘em, (online, not with real people,)
‘Cos I’ve always liked to gamble and to bet.
Next a spot of Grand Theft Auto, though I doubt I really ought to,
Since it makes me lose all interest in sex.
Have you seen that clip on YouTube of the girl who bared her huge boobs?
(Or to be polite, perhaps I should say “breasts”.)
It’s a must-see, it’s gone viral, ever upward the hits spiral,
Yeah, but YouTube is just one more source of stress.
Oh, this new technology, all those gizmos, mp3,
I embraced it all with gusto and with zest.
But the novelty has worn thin, satisfaction level’s falling,
For I’ve gone down with a nasty bout of stress.
I’m yearning for the good old days of just four TV channels,
When we got our news from papers, not the Net.
When there was no mp3, we bought singles and LPs,
And we weren’t all feeling str-str-str-str-stressed!
I gave up smoking years ago, (it’s not good for one’s health.)
I don’t do drugs, or drink booze to excess.
But some whisky or some weed, that’s exactly what I need,
‘Cos they just might help alleviate my stress.
Comments about this poem (Digital Stress by Denys E. W. Jones )
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