Walls adorned with 'felt tip' smut
Toilet door that will not shut
'If you're reading this' ' they put
'Your peeing on your foot'
...
Yokels farmyard Crismas time
An yokel dozen ave a dime
Ee’s one foine fowl that gived im eggs
...
Auntie ironed creases
On all the clothing pieces
So that her kids and husband wouldn't carp
She wouldn't by devices
...
Alan Foot had two left feet
And neither one was right
And two left feet will never meet
As both of them would fight
...
There's a certain kind of poem
That I love the way you write
Your words are smooth and flowin
and you keep the balance tight
...
Geoffrey James would always come
And stand right at the back
Others thought he'd been struck dumb
And Often gave him flack
...
This is my best poem
If I should have a test
Critics when I show em
Would say that it's my best
...
For my mate Stuart. I've sent you a lovely card this Christmas. You're a hell of a guy and we all love you....Love Stuart XXXXXXX
It's sad to be alone when it's your birthday
...
My big red phone box travels far
They gave it me on loan
Installed into my mini car
This massive mobile phone
...
Don't take Grandad's tablets
They'll never make you well
And Mummy says 'If taken
They'll start to make you smell'
...