Mathematical Star Signs - Poem by Diane Hine
A Mass of Aries rams describes a Curl
Potentially connected to a Field
Some Fractal of Mechanics may unfurl
A Calculus of fuzzy-logic yield.
Quadratic Taurus bulls do not Equate
So don't get Knotted arguing the toss
Although with cows they'll gladly permutate
Inverting them with Product makes them Cross.
Most Geminis are tied in Causal Loop
Because their brains are Hypobolic Plot
So if you Add their salad to their soup
It anti-matters them and matters not.
Cancerians love Cartographic law
Their kind presents a Strange Attractor risk
But should their Bifurcations start to bore
They make delicious Metamathic bisque.
The Cumulative Frequency of Leos
Thrice multiplies their skill at Quantum Jump
But if they start to overRule your Peanos
Just poke them with a Compass in the rump.
Harmonic Virgos may be tempt to play
By flattery Tangented to their ear
'I love the Curve Elliptic of your sway
Thou art the Cuboid destined for my Sphere'.
X Librans makes a Quantity of prate
Now double it for Power Y to Zen
Subtracting Z produces vacillate
Divide by thumps to clear and start again.
Shy Scorpios in Logarithms hide
With Relativity which they embrace
They fly by taking Parabolic ride
With aliens from Fibonacci Space.
As Sagittarians Abstractly run
On no Account engage in Matrix dance
Whilst they may find it Exponential fun
You'll forfeit toes to their Kinetic prance.
To Orbifold a Capricorns Converse
Distract by 'citing enth- most place of Pi
But if the Complex Plane remains adverse
Contuse with Games of Cryptograph eye-spy.
Aquarians are Fluidly Inclined
To saying stupid things like 'catch a Wave'
Illogic'lly Entangled in the mind
Their Hemispheric Orbits won't behave.
The Roots of Pisceans obliquely Lie
Within an Escher Tesselated bowl
They're blessed with Countless Postulated fry
And Scaled with Quasicrystal fungal sole.
Note: Augustine(354-430 CE) wrote, 'The good christian should avoid mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. the danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the Devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of Hell'
-but he was really talking about astrologers-
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