Ariel Miles

(10-9-1991 / Brooklyn, Ny)

My Urban Love Poem


I saw you with her today and as I watched with my fake smile I could
hear my heart break and I could feel it being torn apart.
Because it was
then that I realized that I am truly a friend and that's all I'll ever be.

I can't help it
But
let me know if I'm wrong
Because
I have this strong passion
& I can't help but to think of you
& everytime I pass by you
I can't help but to look at you
& like it once was
I want us to be that close again
I just want to pull you to the side
& tell you that
I don't have to be your girl
but I can't stand not being your friend
I see her
&
I don't get jealous
I'm happy for you
because
I hear how much you like her
& I'm glad that someone could make you feel good
But I'm sad for myself
because you were the only one that could make me feel that good
I don't want to be clingy
So I costume emotion
That I shouldn't even hide
But at the same time
I realize that it is in fact
emotion
That I should have never felt
I let you get the best of me
What attracted others to you
Is the same shit that attracted me
But I would swear to god
That it was something different
I admit it
Now
It was simply admiration
& female stupidity that kept me waiting
When I could've moved on
But I wouldn't allow myself to accept the fact that
You weren't the right one for me
Or that
I wasn't the right one for you
I kept telling myself
'Ariel, you know in your heart that it's true'
& I lived with that lie
'cause I was living in LIKE
Not LOVE
but I'm confused
'cause I do
I'm feeling like yea
I do love everything about you
Your smile, your style, the way you make me feel
It's impossible
for me to love what's not mine
or want what's not mine
because if she really does make you happy
... wait
I've already been told to leave you alone
so why do I keep thinking of you
& I tried to part mentally from this
so I scratched your name out of books, bags,
& other shit
But...
I fail to realize
that I can't do it
I deleted your number
your email
& I tried to get them back
So I paused for a second
& I finally guess that
If I was feinin for your attention
shit like numbers & email
I would've remembered
& if I was really feeling you that much
I would've kept your name on all of that stuff
...
Then I go out with someone
That reminds me of you
& I break up with them
Of course
because that shit was a bit uncomfortable
...
Now I realize
again, yea
that if you were really true to me
you would never let any bitch
come between you & me
From what I hear
You're feeling shorty madd nuff
That makes letting go
not so tuff
'cause I would never interfere
with something dear
Like love
...
Now as I see you with her
It will be easier
To cope with
I don't even have to be your friend
Just keep ya girl
Your main focus
.....
I Love You

Ariel Miles 12: 52 am 4/30/06

Letting go isn't giving up,
it's accepting that some things aren't meant to be.

Submitted: Sunday, May 14, 2006

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