Cassie Holt

VW's and Other Shitty Things

Today you crossed my mind a million times
Flashes of memories I wont ever forget
The moment I first met you;
It was a day filled with love, a wedding.
You were the DJ, and my cousins and I all thought you were 14.
I guess I took it upon myself to let you know how we all felt.
I found out for us all that you were 17, and that you got into being a DJ because of your father.
You told us that you were a senior at rock creek, and then went back to playing music.
You didn’t catch my attention again until you played Ocean Avenue.
My all time favorite Yellowcard song. Ever.
You saw me singing every single word, and decided to talk to me a little more.
Obviously, I didn’t mind, but I totally should have.
I wish I would have stopped right there.
I wish I wouldn’t have talked anymore.
I wish you hadn’t told me to add you on Facebook,
And I wish that we all still thought your name was Greg.
Now, this is something I have put off for a very long time.
Everything I have written in the past has beaten around the bush, but I need to get this out.
We will have known each other 4 years this coming July.
July 18th.
Probably the worst day of my entire life.
We practically know everything about each other,
Except for our pasts.
You wont EVER tell me about your past.
And the really shitty thing is that I never will know.
I think I am the idiot within this whole thing because I am the idiot who stuck around through all of the girlfriends you have had.
I keep thinking that one day you will realize that we are perfect for each other.
But I’m never good enough.
Its shitty.
Just like your car.
And your taste in women.
You finally decided we should see each other for the first time in two years.
That probably just made everything worse, to be honest.
My life is falling apart, because you have this amazing, wonderful girlfriend, and then there is me.
The girl who is hopeless, and always right fucking here.
No matter what I do, I think of you.
I see a Volkswagen on the highway, I think of you.
Someone drinks a redbull, I think of you.
I see a tall blond guy, I think of you.
Someone could breathe and I would think of you.
That’s the thing that sucks the most.
I can’t forget anything that you have ever said to me.
You called me beautiful, you called me your only one.
And the last thing I want to say is,
I hate you and love you all the same.

Submitted: Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, April 24, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

This isn't much of a poem, But its my life in a nutshell. I have been telling myself i was going to write this, and i finally did. Beware, I got a little angry so there are a few cuss words. My bad...

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