Ravensclaw jamie

something from forever ago
My soul hurt&hurt&hurt as I gazed worshipfully at these old memories...I could taste them, long for them, him...I stood thinking of these memories. I couldn't catch them. Do you feel anything? Remember then, that this was love. I am, yes, indeed the school of love, for you to be born again, to grow wing's, to sing, & fly with the angel's... My heart raced with thick sorrow, he had grown so cold & uncaring of my heart, of my love for him. I was (am) lonely & empty with-out him...I want to lay helpless as always in his arm's, feel his warm embrace, around my lonely body... Feel the warmth of his flesh. It seemed 'our' world was not merely one of the flesh, but of a mutual magical spell of Love, Oh this could teach the God's of love what Love was! For I felt No being, supreme nor mortal could feel this, but I... We... only me...I'm surprised at how much I lament it, now that it's gone. He was my Angel, but I never realized. My Lord, my Master... No talk of God, He is my God... Would you be so for Eternity? 'Is there ever a loneliness in you, LORD, that pushes you to tell someone, anyone, to have a friend of your own mettle, to confide your heart to One who can comprehend? ' Of the Moon & Stars, my love is made, of that sovereign whiteness which is the substance of clouds & innocence alike.Was I born into this ALONE? 'He has become the World to you as only a Great being can. And you are out of it now & longing to return to it. A man such as that becomes ALL things to you, & his wise voice becomes the law by which Everything is measured. All that lies beyond has No value because he doesn't see it, & he doesn't declare that it is valuable. And so you have no choice but to leave the wastes that lie outside his light & return to it.' I wanted something from my Lord, something final & conclusive & obliterating, and maddened by this desire, suddenly fully aware of it, I ran to seek the comfort in his arms... like a child running to hide.What has killed your love for me? I love you still! I will all my night's & all my day's, forever. Your face is as a jewel given me, which I can never forget, though I foolishly lost it. It's glister will torture me FOREVER. Can you understand how love & love alone could mean so much, and all my world be made of it? The very fingers of this hand that reaches for you? Love, Master, Love. With one sweeping glance that imprinted on my mind the details of my Love, this love for you, for ALL time! How can so much beauty hide such a bruised heart, & Why must I love him? He stripped me of illusions, lies, excuses, & thrust me into this empty void I had once known & all too painfully knew, but I had no idea how much more he could strip from me, & I hate him only because I cannot imagine my soul with-out him now, & owing him all I am & know, I can do nothing to make him wake from his frigid sleep... What good is it to go back & beg him to listen to me, to believe in me again, when he only listens w/ his head, not his heart & soul? A great force emanated from his beauty. It surrounded meas if it were air or breeze or water, but it was none of these. It was far more Rare& pervasive, & though it held me with a formidable strength it was nevertheless invisible & w/out pressure or form. The force was Love. Oh, yes, it is love, it is complete love, & in it's completeness it makes all that I have ever known meaningful.For every disappointment, every hurt, every misstep, every Bad step had told me what I lacked. The Good things, every embrace, every kiss, was but a foreshadowing of this sublime acceptance & goodness, had shown me a glimpse of what love could be...All my life this love made meaningful, sparing nothing, & as I marveled at this, accepting it completely & w/out urgency or questioning, a miraculous process began.. All my life came to me in the form of all those I had ever known. On the contrary, it was but a natural & common string of events, & these events involved All the other souls whom I had ever touched; I saw now the hurts I'd inflicted & the wounds I had caused... And now I have come to realize the Damage can be undone, because I Love! Because I will not let my past take away my future!
...

I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, home again...
live in sin loving you...don't you know?
i just wanted to grow old together, know you better...
Why all the flipside, after you cryed? Oh god's, I should have known better!
...

I think I need a miracle,
to make him see...
I've been praying to something,
out there...
...

like you

Like You
I've got this ache inside
...

One Thousand Night's
It's here in this cold, cold light
that I will forget you...
Just let it all pass away,
...

Caught a whiff of memory
& stars fall like tears across the sky
and I wonder why I feel this way tonight?
The familiar sadness lingers still, like in some smoke filled room...
...

Looking across the room, at the jewel,

I fear, I will never hold...
...

Pray- that something Higher has led me here...
Sadness... Disillusionment... Divine Desire...
Soft, like velvet... Lingering in the shadows, dancing in Darkness...
Subconscious, Unworldly figures,
...

...

Neo-Pagan Shamans, Dance wild in the street's... Dreaming of Voodoo&You...Insanity's parade... We can't be saved... Dance away... Fallen Angel's, singing sad song's... Reading your future... trying to make a dollar...Tempting you to stay... Don't ever wanna go away... Wish 'We' could stay...!
Intoxicated by the age... time that was... year's long gone...Names carved in stone...no faces...no stories or song's, just gone...Place's made to worship...painted art...it's in my heart... Tears fall down, by the river...didn't mean to take it all to heart...didn't mean to fall apart...Memories unleashed from somewhere in the dark of my mind... Good~bye... Long over~due...I can remember why... I had to come say good~bye... Release the sadness... Peaceful...so far away...where the warm breeze blows...so many stories untold...the sun has shone...celebrate, remember...the Life...Gone...Young Lovers walk hand in hand, unsure of what the future holds...don't wanna know, just wanna go! Kisses, feverish embraces, gestures, endless nervous laughter, Passion... All that matters in the world! The only thing that feels real... Magic... Real True Love!
Unconditional, Understanding, Willing...
I can't not believe: in Love, in Trust, in Us...
...

I am clean, free of sin...
that is the first time I can say that in along time...
I washed my hand's in the blood of my bleeding heart,
in the innocent clear wet sticky plasma of my soul.
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The angels & the devils
fight till there's nothing left...
We're all out of breath...
I can smell you on my skin,
...

Darkness spreads its wings over the firey sky. Covering me. Light shall never take its toll.
unwraping. stinging.
The standing rainbow of two.
Spreading apart, uncovering me.
...