Roald Dahl Poems
|1.||Veruca Salt, The Little Brute||3/30/2010|
|2.||There's No Earthly Way Of Knowing||3/30/2010|
|3.||The Three Little Pigs||3/30/2010|
|4.||The Rowing Song||3/30/2010|
|10.||Oh You Knid, You Are Vile And Vermicious....||3/30/2010|
|11.||My Teacher Wasn'T Half As Nice As Yours Seems To Be||3/30/2010|
|12.||Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary||3/30/2010|
|13.||Little Red Riding Hood And The Wolf||3/30/2010|
|14.||I'Ve Got A Golden Ticket||3/30/2010|
|15.||If You Are Old And Have The Shakes||3/30/2010|
|16.||I Want It Now||3/30/2010|
|17.||I Had A Little Nut-Tree,||3/30/2010|
|18.||Hot And Cold||1/3/2003|
|19.||Hey Diddle Diddle||3/30/2010|
|21.||Down They Go...||3/30/2010|
|22.||Dear Friends, We Surely All Agree||3/30/2010|
|25.||Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop||3/30/2010|
|26.||Attention Please! Attention Please!||3/30/2010|
The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
I guess you think you know this story.
You don't. The real one's much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
And made to sound all soft and sappy
just to keep the children happy.
Mind you, they got the first bit right,
The bit where, in the dead of night,
The Ugly Sisters, jewels and all,