Ron Hopkins Poems

The very first time that we met
The dinosaurs were living yet
The world was full of ugly creatures
Such as you with your ungodly features
...

I used to laugh at hemorrhoids, and talk of them in fun
But that all ended yesterday, when I developed one
My disposition is no longer sunny
And I think I walk a little funny
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The Xmas dinner had barely started
When Tyler grinned, and then he farted
Then Tyler slyly looked around
To see if someone heard the sound
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My wife has played bingo all over the region
In every lodge and every legion
From Mishawaka to Kalamazoo
She'd probably play in Timbuktu
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Some people call me a pizza freak
I eat pizz six times a week
Mancinos, Little Caesers or Pizza Hut
I'm in a pizza eating rut
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I woke up this morning just before dawn
Two clowns were dancing outside on my lawn
One was a Bozo, one a Bozette
Worst bit of dancing I ever seen yet
...