RoseAnn V. Shawiak Poems

Growing up is painful - it is killing me.
There are no directions to point me the right way.
Spinning crazily like a magnet in the north pole - my life gyrates with no control.
Trying to head in every direction at once - I end up standing still.
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Panacea of life floats throughout the ages on a pretense of thoughtful knowledge.
Not knowing or caring of whence it came, battling itself in ageless arguments over unwinning circumstances.
Faith is never thought by reason, never proven in theoretical logic.
It is just an inherent belief which lies within the capacity of each of us to grasp under all adversity - in all manner of life.
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Off into the blackness of night, heralding the coming of nothing
light, freeing himself to become invisible to everyone, finding
no one cares if seen or not.
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Building bridges only to have them torn down by other people's uncaring attitudes, left alone, forgotten on pages of eternal history.
Stranded, always by oneself, afraid to venture forth any more.
Wrapping space tightly around the little life that's left, shutting out the laughter and joy of other people's lives.
Turning in upon a world of sorrow left alone to ponder why.
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Everyday experiences plop my way as I settle down looking for a place to stay.
Day after day, things keep going by, leaving me standing, with no where to lie down.
Not a worry nor a care and everything's where it should be.
Here am I with a silence so deep it can't be quenched.
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From the deepest within of me is a total emptiness - a canyon of immense depth that will not be filled.
It is full of sorrow and I walk around in it, feel it, try to put it from me, but it will not go.
Solitarily silent, walking towards the center of it, can find nothing there.
Fervently praying for the Lord to ease the pain if it is His will.
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Life, once so full - so fragrant - now lies dying amongst friends.
Caring no more for the things it sought in life to keep it busy, now it rocks gently in the cradle of death.
There are no more tears left to cry - to shower life with sweet sadness can be no more.
Having taken commitment seriously - living life to the fullest - sharing with many people, the beauty and wisdom of it's silence.
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Death is all around us.
This earth spins constantly, it may one day stop.
What is our future?
No one knows.
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Sometime down corridors of long ago, people were much simpler - easier to know.
Taking time to share and come to know one another had a definite purpose in each one's life.
Today, things are so much different, it's what we've come to know as progress.
It seems to have stripped our lives of meaning, giving us excuses not to know each other.
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Once when I was little. Once when I knew nothing of life.
Sorrow and death visited me at my Grandmother's grave. Crying. I cried and cried because there was no longer a person who cared for me, loved me.
Would never again take my little hand in hers on journeys across the sea to her homeland of Sicily.
My heritage, it's presence was brought to me through her gentle caring memories of life now lost - left behind the curtains of her future.
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