Samantha White Poems

I hate you because you're taking over me,
but I love you 'cause you're making me the girl I want to be.
Why do I love you when all you do is put me down?
Making me starve 'till I fit into the smallest gown.
...

Before now I had never really thought about my weight,
but now the scale is my worst enemy.
Food is a thing I have begun to hate;
I can't ever be thin enough.
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Spinning, swirling, lost in confusion,
not even knowing what I am thinking.
Falling, crying, bleeding, dying,
Into this pit of depression I'm slowly sinking.
...

No one understands the perfection I seek,
the reflection I see everyday.
No one hears the words I speak,
my fear of how much I weigh.
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O Ana, my angel,
lead me to perfection.
Please help me to no longer,
Fear my reflection.
...

All these voices in my head,
Please make them stop I wish I was dead.
The beat of my black heart is slowly ceasing;
my will to live is slowly decreasing.
...

Sitting in the rain with my head on your shoulder,
your arm around me spreading warmth through my whole body,
Now that you are gone will you remember me?
Or am I just some memory you will put aside?
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Why can't you understand?
Why can't you see?
I need you forever,
here with me.
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As I lay in my bed with my thoughts spinning,
I feel so helpless and lost.
In my head is a fight for life or a new beginning,
and if I choose death it will be at my cost.
...

Hiding all my pain and confusion,
behind laughs and smiles.
But really I am searching for a solution,
to get me through this darkness.
...