Simon Townsend Poems

I watched a bird having a bath
A lovely sight for certain
Then with a fright she spotted me
And pulled the bathroom curtain.
...

A crab stole my credit card
It grabbed it with its claws
For me it was chip and pin
For him it was nip and pinch.
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I gave my blind friend a cheese grater
A book he wanted instead
I wonder if he ever thought
It was the most violent book he'd read.
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Spare a thought for my dad's mum
Lost on her way to the curry house
Now she is missing
And so is my naan.
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The Commons Speaker got into a fight
Now look at the state of him.
Eyes to the left
Nose to the right.
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The doner kebab married the chipolata.
I can't wait to hear
the pitta platter of tiny meat.
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I ran away to the circus
A clown I thought I'd be
But I have to agree
Coco was funnier for me
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I made some bread I didn't want
I'm not surprised
It didn't rise
I didn't knead it.
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