Stephanie Papanikolou

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A Drop Of Blood

A drop of blood runs down my hand, it glimmers off the razor band. The blade, it shines, like a fiery star. Tonight I won't leave just one scar. My fingers tremble, my hands shake, my arms in blood they are caked. Cutting is addictive, a narcotic drug, it's like a virus, an unriddable bug. They say it's useless, but they don't know, why I've reached this under low. I've dropped to death, I've met him twice, but I always seem to come back to life. I see him always in the blade, an unescapable escapade. I need you, I figured, I need you, I caved, I need you, so I can be saved. But you never show, you've never come, but you'll always go. When I need you most, you disappear, become ghost. Fade into the void, into the abyss, is it sad to say that say you I miss? I turned to my razor to take the pain, besides you, it keeps me sane. I know you're gone, you won't come back, I'll just make up for all I lack.
One cut,
Two cuts,
Three cuts,
Four,
Maybe if I make one more...
Five cuts,
Six cuts,
Seven,
Eight,
Just one more if you are late.
If you come later at nine or ten, I'll make another and I'll be lead to make another, another scar, one that's worse than a broken heart.
I'll cut through my veins, just to feel pain.
I'll carve right through,
Til I see red,
Believe me darling,
You could have said:
'Stay with me, I'll love you until the end, '
But no, you left, and now I'm dead.

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