sticker mykes

the feeling is genuine, heck i cant even spell it right,
how could i feel something so pure if i cant spell it,
u cant love someone before not even meeting them, not possilbe, not true,
but ive been there but ow can it be? ? ? ? ?
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this is difficult for me, i dont know y?

its like a load on my chest, its difficult to breath, cant sleep, restless,
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YOU know my search is now over,
I dont intend to look for u because ur in peace with yourself now, I've just realized that my heart just broke
I didnt realize my mistake, i let my precious slip out of my hand
I just let it slip through my fingers and into the winds of time, Ill miss you eternally i dont know for how long
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U left me like this
Even enemies dont do that, u were worst then them
U betrayed me, i dont know where to go,
I'm hurt, my mind is badly wounded, i need help,
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I dont think ive ever wanted anything more in life then i do now,
I'ts very selfish but i want to be with you, it was a mistake,
Why am I not to be forgiven, its so much pain, please forgive me,
I never meant to hurt anyone, it feels so horrible its so much waste Mindless thinking, its so much of of a brain drain, please forgive me,
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It's so weird, almost deja'vu, no really its like i went back in time, GOD it was so freaky, i couldnt have imagined it like this.
It was him, wasnt it, i couldnt look at him, what is wrong with me,
I think im losing it, its friggin hard to concentrate on anything, What will i do, what do i do, im going nuts already,
I cant live like this, i had him, only 3 feet away, he did look at me,
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I never asked for this, this isnt life
This is a lie.....
A monotonous lie, the day starts with it and ends with it
I stand by and watch
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hollow soul.....life
existence
Now what, ? i gave you all, got nothing, i.................lost.... You won
You won
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whenever i wanted closure from you i only got silence, its totally killing me, i can live with it but you will wonder, and wonder, you are going away but you are forgetting that a storm is brewing somewhere out there, if you wont take the necessary precautions you wont survive out there, i can already hear the thunder and lightening.whats so romantic about rain? ? ? ? ? ? nothing, i think the sky is weeping, and the thunder is what the heart is suffering , it cant be described, why would you not listen to me, what will make you understand what i need, what i want and when i want and why i want, its all about me wanting, i waited quitely on you for such a long time, its almost a decade of waiting and pleasing you but you still arnt satisfied, who will satisfy you appetite, when will you say enough, i cant stand by you and wait on you, let me go, im suffocating, my life wasnt meant to be like this, there was some better meaning something better out there. my train left, i waited for you, i shouldnt have, that was my signal, i want to run, just run from it all, i dont know where but i just want to be swallowed by this earth, in the sa, in the desert, anywhere where thoughts cannot haunt you, not call you, not taunt you, dictate you, i want to wander in this abyss of nothingness, no one to be concerned of me, for once, just once cant this happen ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
the headache is not there but there is this humming, like a little childs lullabye,
i know what you want, aint going to get what you want,
cry and whine till the end of time,
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its quite foolish to just sit back and relax with so much on my mind, almost like a world war or should i say war of the worlds, good vs evil or chocolates vs.the diet ppl i dunno, so much im almost exhausted, i want to scream, its really sad how i think not that i want to but even if the slightest of a mnisecond of a second it wanders off towards some unsung tunes of the happy times gone by. i know its difficult to act as if its all ok, is it? reallly is it? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
it is the same city, the same roads, the same traffic the same air we breathe, well i dont breathe, or i make sure i dont, nothing anything that has or reminds me of you, yes you, it isnt much of a surprise, i have made this demarcation of all the places which are even remotely related to the memory that is more of a haunting
it haunts me everyday for the past many years, yes why does it?
i dont know for sure, is it me or have i lost it?
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seriously i dont know what is the problem, the weight wont go away, so what you dont look super stick, half the world isnt! , so what sahar and amar are slim so am i, ok not super size zero, well even if i do turn 0 i would never be able to stand straight, my head will definitly be heavier and bigger then the rest of the body, hahahahahahahah
no really i would fall straight, flat on my face, then my perfect nose would turn into a flat tomato, not good
think fast.............................................................................................
or i could opt for the surgery, but im not fat, for the last time im not, not, not.
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